I No Longer Want to Eat
So Why am I Always Hungry?
I no longer want to eat.
Too tired,
stay in bed,
back to sleep,
those pangs will go away.
———Я———
Duluth, Minnesota
1970s family vacation
I want to say Captain Jack’s
no longer there.
Maybe it was something Admiral’s.
It was nautical.
Pay once for all you can eat,
salad bar
order an entrée
finish it
order another.
Preteen
ate seven in one seating,
chicken,
steak,
ham,
frog legs,
both fried & steamed,
crab,
clams,
nicely sated.
Wonder how many thousands
of calories.
———Я———
Now trying to find enough
to fill fifteen hundred
over the course
of an entire day.
Don’t want to,
but ought to.
Rather stay in bed.
———Я———
Lost over thirty pounds,
only eighty-nine to go
before optimal.
Don’t want anything to eat
but know I must.
Just another Mahatma Ghandi
this one without a cause
waiting for something
to end it all.
———Я———
Sleep,
go to sleep
& let the world drift away
into pleasant slumber
& troubled dreams.
not wanting to eat
———Я———
So why
am I always hungry?
———Я———
These are but the simple ruminations of a recently diagnosed diabetic. Yet as I write them, they seem to be telling me something more, more than blood glucose levels, more than having a restricted diet. Something about me, about the world, though I'm not quite sure what.
About the Creator
Randy Wayne Jellison-Knock
Retired Ordained Elder in The United Methodist Church having served for a total of 30 years in Missouri, South Dakota & Kansas.
Born in Watertown, SD on 9/26/1959. Married to Sandra Jellison-Knock on 1/24/1986. One son, Keenan, deceased.
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Comments (23)
Well done for your honesty Randy. I just lost my Dad last week to diabetic complications. Stick with your food plan!
Nice story 👍
Honest and cathartic. Food is something I think we all struggle with on some level. Well done Randy
Authentic and amazing!!! Losing weight is hard to do!!!
This is fantastic Randy!!! I could relate. Although I've never eaten seven dinners in one sitting. But boy do I love to eat. Congrats in the weight you've lost so far. I'm on your side cheering you on for the weight you have left to lose. I know you can do it.
I really enjoyed reading this Randy, and I want to thank you for sharing something so personal. ❤️ I'm so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. Wishing you well and sending love! ❤️
I totally relate, I love sweets so much, lately i am always hungry. I just try to eat as healthy as possible (good luck, still crave the bad good stuff). Diabetes can be reversed. Get a bitter tea called Cerasee, Amazon and International stores sell it. 2 teabags in a cup of hot water. I prefer to boil the cup with bags in microwave or stove top. Squeeze half a lime's juice in it. It tastes awfullly bitter, but your body needs to be slightly alkaline to fight this condition. This tea helps with keeping your blood on the alkaline side. If you ever try it, cool it down enough to gulp it down with a straw, avoid lime juice on your teeth. Drinking this tea a couple times per week has also lowered my BP. Also, get the Jamaican brand, It is even more bitter. 🤔🙄. If you feel daring enough, add half a spoon of apple cider vinegar. It is guaranteed to make you do the hokey pokey and spin yourself around. I drink that occasionally. WHOOEEEEE!
Brave to share something so personal, but also generous. Lots of people will be able to relate to the sentiment if not the exact experience.
Sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis Randy. Thank you for sharing such a personal poem
Your poem is beautiful. It's difficult to adapt to a new condition, but I see from a relative that diabetes can be controlled, it can be difficult and it also depends on the help of the people around you. Best wishes.
Sorry about the diagnosis. I have diabetics in my family, so I do a thing where I do not eat anything three hours before heading to bed (much harder than it seems), exercise (running and yoga), a lot of water and less sugar in my diet now. But your piece is making me hungry... Never tried frog's legs... ;)
Something more, as in we take more than we ought to? Our surplus is actually from another's plate. Lol, I don't know what I'm mumbling.
Oh wow, this definitely had some relatable feelings for me. When sometimes I just have the feelings of not wanting to do anything but lie in bed all day. I used to get that when I worked overnight. Threw everything off. I’m no doctor, I also don’t play one on TV, but I’ve heard of theories such as, more vegetables and grains and less meats being something that’s supposed to help with diabetes. Make it easier, I think even helping to reverse the one that is reversible. But I hope you find some ease to all of this one way or another.
So much raw honesty to this (Stealing Tony's words) but expressed beautifully, love the train-of-thought feel to it all. Hope things improve re the diabetes, Randy. This is a great read, though!
Ooof, that must be so frustrating and difficult 😩
This was raw and so honest, Randy. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself with us. What questions are you asking life - to get an answer to your footnote?
I'm very sorry you're going through this - my MIL was a severe diabetic - she had a lot of complications, but she didn't take care of herself. I hope you can figure out a better balance soon. ❤️
I’m sorry for this pain, it sounds like such a heartache you are going through. You write it very well and it’s an aching portrait of such a hardship, I hope it gets better soon
Sounds like quite a journey! Hang in there! I’m not sure what the deeper meaning is either - when you find out Randy, be sure to let us know! 😊
Very relatable poem, Eating healthy is like scavenger hunt. Healthy food don’t sometimes fill you up. You are in my prayers, Pastor Randy. 🙏🏽
Beautifully written and so poignant. 🤍 Thank you for sharing 🤍
Story of my life - always hungry. Fortunately, my sugar is still controlled. Thank you for reminding me that this is also a reason to be concerned. Hope you feel alright!
I often feel like this. I used to love a full English, but now the general desire has gone. I still like food but do not eat as much as I used to. Great poetic journey Randy