I May Just Be A Baby Bird. . .

I am all alone and in that is a peace

I have been standing on my own for a while

But this time there is a new belief

I have learned to fend for myself

To not rely on anyone else

No one else can live this life for me

No one can know me

No one can speak for me

When I open my mouth the world looks at me like I am insane

Maybe I am

But I would rather have those few that would stay through the hurricane

For that is what the depression and anxiety resemble

They stay

They choose to stay and they choose to back me

Whatever it is that I do they are there

It is not always in the way I want

Sometimes the reality of what they are trying to say

The harshness of a reality that no one wants

But never changes

I have to swallow my pride and admit that they have a point

That is all I do

I do not give up

Or give in

Just because the world wants me to cave

I am every bit the scared bird afraid to leave its nest

Where once I would have needed a push

Now I just jump

I use the tiny wings I was given and flap until it hurts

Flap as I brave the downpour of words that tell me what I can and cannot do

Flap as I shiver through the harshness of a heartless world

Flap as I tire from nowhere to rest my head from my own anxiety

And yet I do not tire

I flap til I reach the warmth of those that come around me, who choose me

I flap til I reach a branch and know that I am secure

I flap until I have nothing to give because that is how I know I am alive

I do not tire as I go

I do not allow myself to waver in my course

I know what I was put on this earth for

And I will be damned if I do not help others to soar

So to any predator who hears

Be that person, circumstance, or the evilness of mind

Try to cut my means to fly

Close my beak so that I may not speak

Rip into every part of me until I am left bruised and broken

But know that though you may see this scared little bird

It has the strength and endurance of an eagle

I may not be the biggest

Or strongest

Even the smartest

But you will see my shadow in the sky watching over you

Though you still refuse to understand

I do not care

I could never allow the world that hurt me to my core

Be a world that I allow others to live in

And for those that cannot fight on their own

Know that you are never

Never alone

We all fight for each other

We fight for a cause

And if we go down

Watch us burn all the brighter

And know that I did not falter

I did not give up

And one day

You will see the reason within

And may that bring to you a whole new worldview within

We are better than this world

But we need to be our own change

If nothing else in my life

I want to show that in everything I do

My hope to be this warrior

It will never come true

But just know that if you feel any of these words at all

Know I fight for you

I will keep on writing

I will keep on talking

I will keep sharing the truth of a world I know

Because I know I am not alone

I know that there are others

And it breaks my heart

Because I would never wish that on another human soul

Then to think that many have had worse

Feel powerless

Broken

With no one to turn to

That is not where you will stay

I refuse to give in to that thought

If there are only these words that reach you

Then know that you are loved

You may be broken but there is a great beauty in it

There is a power

And a fire

Do not let it be extinguished

Just because someone was blinded by the light that surrounded you

And only wanted to snuff you out

They are not worth your time

Nor your attention

Ton anyone or anything that had ever made you feel worthless

None of it can compare to the inferno that is you

There is anger, bitterness, and a worthlessness beyond measure

No word will heal

No amount of coming together will fix

I do not promise a solution

Nor do I promise you will heal

Time does not heal the wound but only lets the physical hurt fade

It tries to put on a mask

Tries to make you hide

Show that fear

Show that pain

Make it have a cause

Mine is to write and speak out just for you

I may not even know you yet

But you better believe I want to

There is no one who is more sweet, more kind

And more deserving of love than you

You are the you you need to be

And one day when your story is told all the way through

You will realize what we already knew

Those of us that stayed

Those of us that encouraged

Those of us that believed

That you were a light to bright for this world

That the world was not ready for someone like you

But is bereft of the presence you exuded now that its experience is done

Don't end the story while it is just beginning

Stick it through to the end

Maybe just maybe you will find in those of us that know

A true community and friend

Know that I continue to write for you

Fight just for you

And will never stop

Even to my dying breath