I Am Grateful

While I thought about reasons to be grateful, I thoughy about the poetry that Ive written. I've compiled most of my best writings and here are the stories that tell my life and why...

I am Grateful!

I am grateful for change

Being able to live this life

all the surprises and everything unknown

Nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same.

Horoscopes no longer apply to me

I am truly free

My future is mine

And can never be forseen

By anyone or anything but me

Because I have the power to change anything.

I am grateful for feelings

Feelings bring us close to one another

That good feeling we get

When we relate with eachother

And they are the reason why I write.

I am grateful for my past

Growing up I always thought,

Life doesnt have to be this way,

Watching grown folks stay the same,

I knew how I would make things change.

It seemed people didn't realize,

How much kids watch and observe,

When they thought no one was looking,

Words they thought no one heard.

Thoughts they had,

feelings they felt,

Werent just theirs

We become a reflection.

Ive learned to be mindful

Of what i put out into the world

Ive learned so much about life

Lessons we realize later on

Amazing how we heal with a little time

I am grateful for my present

I am happy with what i have right now

The little things are so important now

They will make stories for the future to tell

I am grateful for my kids

They make me feel so special

They are the reason i show gratitude

They are my love, my soul

Damien is the keeper of my heart

Apollo holds the key

They are the Alpha and Omega

Of me….

I am grateful for my boyfriend

Im not mad cuz he cheated

Im not mad cuz he lied

Im not mad cuz he said he hated me

Shit, im not even mad for all the times he made me cry

I do get hurt

But not like i did before

I just let it go

Theres alot of shit that i can ignore

Back in the day i wouldve flipped out

Leaving with a brutal emotional outburst

That would always end up hurting me more than anyone else

Either im just getting used to it

Or ....

After picking the same scab over and over again

The emotional scar has finally set in

Im done fighting

Im done arguing

And when you think i dont care

the truth is...

I care about you so much

And Arguments create negative energy

fights create breakups

And I just want to be happy

I dont know how this is working

I remember hating you and everything you did

Back in the day

But one thing is for sure

Is im not gonna waste my time

Losing you

Because I think I finally understand

Whats its like to Love

Unconditionally

I am grateful for lifes sadness

I write positive messages poetically

To tell the stories of my souls growth

But the most important messages i need to get out

Ive never witten and have never been told

To release the stress of my broken mentality

I feel like i need to be alone

My thoughts overwhelm me so much i cry

When no one is around i scream out loud

Ive sat in complete darkness

No lights, not a sound

And created stories in my mind

The what ifs, if only and if id done it differently

I connect the past to the present and created multiple futures for myself

I think about the beginning and ending

But never the struggle in between

My life has had alot of positive outcomes

But its the in between that scares me

Ive struggled more than what the outcome has been worth

Its like a huge rain storm

And the clouds never go away to see the sunshine

My rainbow slightly visible

But probably just in my head

My minds plays tricks on me sometimes

Ive avtually been running through a tunnel that never ends

I dont have much anger inside

I dont hate anyone who does me wrong

But my heart is broken

I hurt so much inside

That my tears have literally gotten bigger

Filled with so much emotion i cant control

I tried to talk but nothing ever comes out right

No one understands what im saying

No one sees how hard im trying

On top of dealing with the world

Im fighting a battle inside myself

I write positive messages poetically

Because maybe if I keep telling myself how good my life could be....

Someday it might actually happen for me.

I will always have faith

I am grateful for lifes happiness

The reason I live is to conquer life.

To become greatness at its greatest!

To become the best of the best!

To be a champion and master of Life

To become who I really am!

Deep down i am reminded

Of what I am supposed to do

The only way to become a pro, is to fail over and over until I get it right.

The only way to get through this life is to fail over and over until I get it right.

Without challenges I can't become stronger

Without experience I can't fight

Loving my life, blemishes and all

I love me..... And my inner light will shine!

I am grateful for hard times

Preoccupied with how I've been classified,

Forced to be alone

As I save my life,

The universe shows me the signs,

I have visions that I dont want to forget

So i sit and I write

I feel like now is my time

To explain my life....

The universe is always on my side,

Times I was lost, broken, and blind,

It always left something for me to find,

Every time I've fallen i found a ladder to climb,

Every step up was a struggle but that struggle is mine,

Every time I broke down to my knees and cried,

I wad reminded me to look up at the sky,

The guilt was heavy, but that guilt is mine,

Every time I hurt myself I became more dissatisfied,

The hunger grew in my eyes but that hunger is mine,

when i hated my reality, this blindfold was removed from my eyes

I created torture in my mind but that torture is mine,

When I gave up I didnt let myself die,

My suffering became my life, but the suffering is mine.

I am proud to carry everything that is mine,

Today I am strong and I am wise,

I've learned not to forget but leave the past behind,

I have found happiness when I stop and simplify,

I am not known to cause harm or tell a lie,

I am grateful for what I have and I am satisfied,

I use my knowledge in the best interest of everyone's life,

I am not jealous and I don't carry ill thoughts in my mind,

The words I speak are true, I don't feel different inside,

I love everything I have and I appreciate being alive!

I am my own savior, as the universe guides

I know I am right,

I refuse to lose sight,

No matter how hard they hit, I will continue to fight,

I will shed my light

For the truth is my alibi

This is my life

And this is what I testify.......

I am grateful for my success

My accomplishments

Keep my mental state on a positive note

I can do anything I want anything I dream

Without limitations my thoughts unfold

My downfalls and rock bottom moments

Keep my heart in tact

I love my pain and I love my suffering

I wouldnt be me without that

My confusion and indecisiveness

Are just here to amuse me

Dont forget life is a beautiful gift

I get through the toughest times when im laughing

I have a gift that allows me to sense what others cant

I see signs that others forgot to look for

I get messeges that pass on through energy

And I am going to save the world...

Crazy as it sounds.... But this is ME!

And im supposed write this..... Apparently

I am grateful for love

After years and practice

Of trying to find reasons

To love myself...

Here it is.

I love myslef because I cant find reasons to love myself. I cant find words, ideas, memories, and I cant find the meaning of me.

Thats how fucking incredible I am. Thats why there no words to express how great I am. The idea of me is beyond the meaning of happiness and love. My memories are only a tiny part of what my soul has actually been through! The meaning of myself is out of this world.....

Im going to love myself for what it is really worth

I am grateful for the odd moments

Not sure where to start

Not even sure if I'm finished…

I need to forgive myself .

Its alot harder then I think

I talk loud so they hear

Not knowing what my point is

I scare myself most of the time

Ignoring all limits

I can't see with my eyes

My heart won't listen

My mind to busy trying to escape

There still something missing

Emptiness by choice

Forgetting what I believed in

Saying fuck you to the odds

But I don't even have a mission

Kinda stuck in right now

Not doing to bad but I feel down

Confusing myself

The more i step out of bound

Questioning myself

My right to my crown

My authority, my reign

My silent sound

What am I waiting for

What am I supposed to do

Im trying to understand my mind

Ascending to fast so soon

Pausing my thoughts

Too afraid to think of what to do

Because everything I ever wanted

Has been coming true....

Ive become everything I said I wouldn't be

But I'm happy.... I'm free...

Being on all ends of the rope

There's no place I'd rather be...

Thank you universe for everything!

I am grateful for the Universe!

Dear Universe,

Thank you for everything that you have given me throughout my life. Thank you for blessing me with my two sons and thank you for all the time that I have to be with them. I am a good person and I am going to do good things that will help as many people as I can. Thank you for giving me what my heart desires

And thank you for always listening!