How You Hurt Me

I met you at a time when I was struggling to keep my head above the water. I was rebuilding myself, trying to grow and conquer my biggest fears, and recognize my best potential and to finally become that.

I can usually stop situations like this before they happen, it's typically easy for me to read.

But at this time In my life, I was so venerable I fell right into the trap you set up so accurately

All the sweet lies you told me to get what you wanted from me.

Narrating me all these things you thought I wanted to hear.

The thing is,

that's not the part I fell for

It was the nicknames,

The hunny,

The baby girl,

The sweetie,

The sweetheart,

The way you would remember little things I told you,

The way you would act if you forgot your phone and you couldn’t text me for a couple of hours,

The way you would get all prepared for me to come over,

The way you would kiss me on the head,

and the way you looked at me across the room.

Our first date was like one from a Nicholas Sparks movie and one that ill never forget.

I knew people could lie about things, but this was a whole new level.

When someone lies to you, you can usually feel something in your gut, something in the atmosphere doesn’t line up, and it protects you from that lie.

But this, whatever it was It felt real, it felt like for the first time in a long time, someone actually could potentially love me.

For all I am,

For what I believe in,

and for a split second, I fell so fast and although you said you would be there to catch me,

To my surprise, I fell and split myself open.

The baby girls,

Turned into “sorry I’m busy,”

The daily texts turned into once a week,

And every time I asked you for an honest answer, you would make me feel stupid for asking you why you were acting differently.

How do you go from being so keen on speaking with someone every day, to nothing at all?

How do you show someone your most vulnerable side and never speak to them again?

I have been through a lot of unusual situations, but this one still confuses me.

You did hurt me by giving me all of you at once,

And then nothing at all. You proved to me that even though my gut instinct was wrong,

the “I'll see you next year” text message should have been as far as it went.

- I regret everything about you.