How to succeed in heartbreak

i attempted to succeed in heartbreak without even trying

so tired of self-help tips and friendly pick-me-ups

once i got there, that was just the foundation

the process of letting go of that special relation

erasing all of the memories from my brain

gathering up all of the chinks in my chain

fastening them together to make chain mail

inhale, one… two… three, exhale

ride him in to a battle

tearing down our castle

taking his name, the one that still hurts to say, using it as a war cry

then i actually cry, because there is nothing shameful about clearing my eyes

i do not pick myself up

i do not try to be okay

because heartbreak is not about being okay

it is about remembering that i was okay before

it is about taking all of my broken pieces and rebuilding that castle

no one succeeds at heartbreak

isn’t that the truth

but one day, i will cry myself a fountain of youth

i drank up bottles and bottles and bottles,

pretending their mouths belonged to someone else

but I am done feeling sorry for myself.

because why apologise for loving until you burst?

my capacity to feel needs no pardon

my heart needs no mending

i am not broken, i am just a little more explosive