How Low’s Too Low

Every morning she wakes feeling she lives at the bottom of her world,

Determined to rise a level within the daylight hours,

But as night begins to fall, she ascertains she’s not moved at all,

Her heartbreak insurmountable as her dream defiantly sours.

**

She takes consolation that she can fall no further,

Optimistic that the only way from here is up,

She pastes that fake smile upon her face and gets on with the day,

Concentrating solely on her half-filled cup.

**

So, imagine her surprise when it all suddenly hit,

The devastation that threw her from the cliff upon which she clung,

A betrayal so impossibly unbelievable; she’ll fall forever,

The noose around her neck tightened, tethered as she hung.

**

Her chest exploded, her heart torn unceremoniously and tossed aside,

Her optimism crumbled, she felt sure she’d finally died,

But the gut-wrenching agony waiting for her realisation,

Decimated her will as she tumbled and cried.

**

A second betrayal slammed her when she thought she’d felt it all,

Where she believed she’d found rock bottom, was nothing more than a ledge,

Where she battled and climbed intending to find a way out,

Was nothing more than her crawling towards an unstable edge.

**

One huge push and she sailed from her safety net,

As the cliff face refused to hold her until she could rediscover her strength,

The cruelty as the news was delivered; her heart stopped beating,

And she prayed it would stay silent, stop at any length.

**

But no, the pain that hit her heart jolted it back into the land of the living,

And soon became her greatest enemy as it thundered out its pain,

She was held captured within its mercy,

Never to be totally sane ever again.

**

She suddenly understood how alone she’s always been,

Worthlessly tossed aside when she was no longer in need,

Kicked and pummelled into the dark oblivion,

And left to surrender to the cost of the bleed.

**

She’s hoping she now sits on rock bottom,

And she’s ready to finally admit defeat,

She’ll stay there awhile to ensure there’s no further she can fall,

Because she cannot live through a repeat.

**

Her days will now be hers and hers alone,

She’ll never trust another being to access her battle-scarred heart,

Solitude will be her greatest strength, her fortitude,

And she’ll forever wander this earth, separated and apart.

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Originally published on Medium