hewn and now

i am hewn, and i am now. but once i was just hewn-

my substance stripped, all my parts dissolved, burned to cinder and coals.

hiding regrets of who i am amongst the smallest bits of truth.

i feared the apothic process within; doubted change could be the miracle.

my unfit pieces seemed to lack cohesiveness- an unsolvable puzzle.

i ran from feeling, sundered for long enough to come back to the beginning.

i was so long alone; disregarded my heart as it was; turning to rust.

a decaying sense of self was my armor, a defense most unconvincing

until i saw my parts from this other side not knowing they were mine.

as i collected with diligence the abandoned pieces, filled with wonder of,

"who would leave behind such immaculate perfection- who and why!???"

i saw familiar pieces once restored to their former glory, not from another.

years of running had led me to these- what i was looking for all along.

precious pieces that once made me feel lost were needed to know myself.

the self-dissection allowing fresh perspective of feeling unwanted.

once i was just hewn; today i am hewn and now. nothing less, nothing else.