Heart aches

You must hate me.

No, not at all.

How could you not?

You did what you had to do.

It is better, now, talking online...

Better than email, yes, for sure. Although, it's been good to get caught-up.

Remember I told you that my mother always caused trouble for my wife?

Yes, but why?

Because my wife isn’t you. She knew how I felt about you.

I'm so sorry. That must have been rough.

I thought that, after Mom's death, my wife and I would grow closer.

It is your time to be happy, together, now.

But that hasn't happened...

Oh...

Mmmm. ...I cannot forget you.

I cannot forget you!

I didn't want you to suffer.

But you didn't have a choice.

I don’t want to give my wife stress, either, by us talking together.

She’s already been through so much.

But she told me that, to help me heal, it is okay to talk with you again.

Okay, good.

After all, you were meant to be my wife... a pastor's wife.

...Life doesn't always turn out the way we plan...

I stay at my mother’s place, still, for half-the-week.

You haven’t been able to sell her house?

I'm used to staying there - from when I looked after her.

Oh...

It keeps me out of trouble.

You don’t miss your wife, when you're away half-the-week?

As I told you, in my emails, I’m not very sociable, anymore...

Me, too. Too many bad things happened to me. I prefer to be alone.

We have that in common, too.

Yes.

Remember the time...?

The time...?

...in the police van? When I helped you?

Yes. Robbed at gunpoint, by a government soldier. I remember it well.

That was quite a time! I thought you would have mentioned it, by now.

You came with me, and helped me... I was so grateful... I was scared!

It brought us closer.

Yes.

When will I see you again?

I don't know... In the afterlife?

No! I can’t wait that -

I want to see you, too, but...

But?

... I should only see you, if you are single. Otherwise, it would be too hard.

I have a visa now, to come to the U.S., for my work.

Oh, wow!

I can see you, sometime, now.

It's been thirty years.

Thirty-two. ...But I never forgot you.

I never forgot you!

Mmmm.

I really want to see you, again, but... it's not fair to her.

Mmmm.

Your wife has to be okay with this. Otherwise...

You remember the last time we saw each other?

I remember holding your hand, on the bus, all the way to the airport!

Yes.

I can still see and feel our fingers, touching. I'll never forget!

My memory is not good. I only remember a few things.

Me, too - but I remember them, like it was yesterday!

I’ve been looking for you, for years.

I’ve been looking for you, too.

We finally -

- found each other! ....Online does have its limitations, though.

I'll print the photo of you that you emailed - so I can see you, every day!

Haha, you are old! You can see my photo, online, anytime!

I will hide it in my desk drawer.

Okay.

I am not very savvy with the computer.

I still have all your letters.

I have yours, too.

And the photos of us?

Of course.

Please send me what you have. I only have a couple.

I will.

I wish you hadn't had to marry someone else.

But I had no choice!

I know.

I had to graduate. An only-son has many responsibilities!

In your letter, you told me: in order to graduate, you had to be married?

Otherwise, they wouldn't grant me my degree. A single pastor was illegal.

Why didn't they want a single minister leading a congregation?

To avoid scandal.

Scandal?

If already married, then you won't become involved with a parishioner!

Ah!

Jobs were nearly-impossible to come by. I'd already spent six years.

You had to finish university, in order to feed yourself.

Yes.

I don't blame you. I would have probably done the same...

There was not enough time to tell you, before graduation.

Overseas-mail took at least a month to arrive.

I tried to argue with the administration, to give me more time.

I got your letter, two weeks before you were to be married...

I'm very sorry.

... saying you'd found a fellow student, who'd agreed to marry you.

There wasn't enough time to contact you, so you could come.

I was devastated.

I'd petitioned the administration for an exemption to their rule.

Really? So you could marry me...?

But they refused. I had to find a bride, in order to save my education.

And you had no way to call me. It was before cellphones!

Yes.

If cellphones and the internet had been available, we would have made it...

I remember you called my college office, a few times.

The connection was so scratchy! We could hardly understand each other.

And there was no privacy! The secretaries were always listening to me.

I wanted, so badly, to be with you!

I couldn't call you. It would have cost, more than a year's tuition.

I know.

And your address kept changing. You moved so many times!

I was... lost without you... trying to figure out... how to fill up time.

I was buried in my studies.

And how would I have arranged travel, to Africa, so quickly?

Mmmm.

Airfare to Africa was so expensive, back then!

Mmmm.

And I was still dependent on my parents.

A poor student.

My family wouldn't have understood, either. They hadn't even met you!

Would you have come - if you could have - to marry me?

Of course! ...Of course.

We were victims of circumstance.

Yes.

Like a Shakespearean tragedy.

Not our fault, for sure. Things like this happen, I guess.

Like Romeo & Juliette!

I do wonder what our life would have been like, though - together.

Yes.

But... we've been on different paths, now, for so long...

The sun shines just as brightly, now, as it did then!

True -

Especially in your eyes!

Haha!

We still have time.

I don't know -

Why?

It's - difficult. I'm too full of emotions for you.

I don't want you to suffer...

I know.

I just want to see you, again.

But, if I ever see you, again... I will never be able to leave your side!

We are grown now; can do what we want. No one can tell us what to do!

But our conscience must!

Mmmm.

In the future... if you are ever single... I’ll be here for you.

But will you be single?

With two failed marriages, I am not looking for anyone.

You're life's been difficult! Raising 4 children, alone.

Now that I know you're alive... I'll be thinking of you!

I have three more years, until my retirement.

My kids are still not all grown, though... Different worlds.

Not different worlds! Same world, different continents…

...and different responsibilities.

The world is smaller now.

But you're busy with your work - and you're married!

I'm so busy, I hardly have time to think. But... I still think of you.

I think of you, too. But... This is too much!

You are my hope!

And you are mine! But, if I see you again... I will want to... hug you.

What is wrong with a little hug?

It can lead to other things...

Mmmm. ...I love you.

I love you, too.

We will meet again.

I send you all my love.

May God keep us both safe.

... We should go...

Until next time.

Okay...

Be resilient, my love.

I'll try.

Stay strong.

I will. ...Please... Take care of yourself!

I will. Goodbye, then.

Goodbye. Until next time.