Hate & Hate Even More...

I hate feeling like I've done something wrong when I haven't.

I hate even more that I know I haven't yet I still feel like I have.

I hate that I am tempted to use the word double-standard in our

friendship because it's such a feminist thing to say.

And I've heard that feminist is a bad word now a days

I hate that I express myself more because you asked me, to show you me.

I hate it even more because for some dumb reason I thought

just maybe that was a two lane street.

I hate that you can come to me to complain about such trivial things,

and I laugh and make light of a situation for you.

I've heard rumors that that's what friends are supposed to do

I hate that I'm in “care” with you, unconditionally, through all of this.

I hate even more, that I like using the word care better than love,

feels less cliche that way.

I hate (though I will never admit it) that I want that from you too, Unconditionally.

You made me listen to you name all the reasons why I shouldn't love you

I hate when you try to make me mad at you.

I hate it even more that you don't understand I'm not going anywhere.

I hate knowing that you are so okay with hurting me to try and make me run away from you.

Listen to me would you? For once.

I hate that Sober you and under some Influence you are two separate people.

I hate it even more that I sometimes like the Influenced version of you better.

I hate that that version shares his thoughts with me, when Sober you doesn't.

I've heard alcohol makes a man share his secrets

I hate that I am so open, yet somehow not enough.

I hate even more that I keep trying to expose more of me to a wall disguised as a door.

I hate that you are okay watching me scream into an already painted canvas, watching me waste energy.

I've heard that it's sometimes a good thing to keep some of you for yourself

I hate apologizing for me, and setting up a path to hear an apology from you.

I hate even more that you feel so much preventable pain when you do finally say sorry.

I hate that we both keep feeling so hurt to find out we never needed to feel down to begin with.

I've heard you must be sad to understand what happiness feels like

I hate how much time we've wasted pretending not to understand.

I hate even more that I don't know how to make this stop.

I've Heard that through time people drift apart.

So Listen, there’s got to be a reason we aren't.