grandma’s grin

i have a disdain for gps and maps

especially when it comes to

familial

pirate's

treasure

i know exactly where it’s buried

alongside the 2pac lyrics

and my childhood best friend’s phone number

it's seared

deep

down

the sands of time have fallen since i’ve last seen it

and yet

i remember every detail

the ivory white shade

how it shone even in the twinkle of her eye

creating remarkable crinkles near her mouth

all of it

the warmest safety blanket

a toothy indicator of achievement

my earliest memory of it

1st grade spelling bee, 6 years old

long before gwen stefani ever stepped in the studio

i dropped the ball

…

“Your word is banana.”

“Banana, B-A-N-E-N-A, Banana”

“I’m sorry, that’s incorrect.”

…

in a heated sense of panic my eyes fervently darted across the spacious room

then i halted them upon it

instant

megawatt

relief

tailor made for the red carpet

akin to finding your favorite song while flipping through the radio

grandma’s heartwarming grin

as the earth gently revolved around the sun it made numerous reappearances

whether it was presented with a sense of encouragement or pride

it

was

always

there

18 years old, my high school graduation party

weary of what the balance held

hesitantly knocking on adulthood's door

you walked over to me as i was numbly opening my gifts

in the fluster of a grey and muted celebration, you bathed me in loud and vibrant colors

better than hot chocolate on a rainy afternoon

always there to provide comfort

grandma’s reassuring grin

even as you laid in the hospital

draped in a white gown

with an IV lodged in your vein

unable to speak

i

saw

it

after the doctors explained to me that your hearing is the last sense to go, i sat with you

reminded you of the spelling bee

reminded you of the graduation party

reminded you of countless times in between

in your moment of unbearable pain, you showcased it to us once more

sweet as ice cream on a hot summers day

pleasant as the aroma of warm vanilla and brown sugar

a brief appearance before you departed this earth with it

grandma’s final grin