Goodbye

“Goodbye Mama”

I have to block out thoughts of you, all memories and your voice,

So I don’t go insane,

I wish I knew then what I know now; the damage is done, the scars run deep,

The tears pour like torrential rain,

When I was busy waging wars with myself you were nowhere to be found,

At least that’s what I thought at that time in my life,

Not to stop the fight; just to leave me behind,

Tomorrows too late, you’re already gone and I’m no longer the girl you raised,

I said goodbye to you; if you can truly say farewell,

But I cannot make the pain go away,

I ask frequently how can you do this to me?

I will always feel as if there were more I could do; could have done,

Perhaps I’ll leave this tormented place, memories everywhere I look,

Sadness every breath I breathe, nothing left to keep me here,

Tortured thoughts and feelings of restlessness and helplessness,

I hate myself for all the things I didn’t do for you,

With a sad heart I say bye to you and wave as I visit your resting place one last time.

Tahnee Cole ©