Lily

Joined August 2019

0 stories

Bio

Writer, Teacher Assistant, creator and believer in the law of attraction

Stories (38/0)

Perfect Strangers
Is there anything better than sitting at a coffee shop wearing a warm fuzzy sweater on a cold winter day? As I sip my coffee which doesn’t taste like coffee at all, but instead tastes like a sweet decadent dessert, I feel I am in heaven. I have a book I’m dying to continue but cannot get myself to open because my eyes and ears are being distracted by the couple in front of me. This couple has been arguing for the past 20 minutes. At first I could ignore them but their tone is starting to reach new heights. Thankfully, there is another table free behind me, I pick up my things and move to that table instead. The couple turn and look at me but I don’t pay them any attention. Perhaps they will realize what a nuisance they are being, why not go argue in your car or your home. Finally, at the new table I open my book and continue to read. By the time I am done with my coffee I look up and realize the couple finally stopped arguing and by the looks of it the woman had left the man alone. The man suddenly turned my way and looked at me looking at him. I tried to look away and get back to my book.
By Lily6 days ago in Fiction
Robert E. Howard
I recently stumbled upon a film I have never seen before. It was titled “The Whole Wide World” and it was made in 1996. The reason I wanted to watch this movie was because it starred Vincent D’Onofrio, one of my favorite actors. As I watched the movie I learned it was based on a real person who lived in Texas in the 1930s. The person the movie was about happened to be a writer and a complex individual. As I watched the movie I could not help but feel some sort of connection to this poor soul. His name was Robert E. Howard and he was a pulp writer in a time when it was not seen as conventional as it might be now.
By Lily7 days ago in Critique
Denying Myself
I’ve only recently noticed that I have not been doing a lot of things that I used to do. I have not been eating the things I used to love. I have not been out to places that I used to love. I have been denying all these things to myself without even noticing it, until now. A couple of days ago a friend of mine called and was asking how I was doing. I was happy to tell her that I am doing so much better. I did think I was doing better, especially since I was waking up everyday and going to work. Of course then my friend asked if I had done certain things or gone to certain places and to my surprise all my answers were no’s. I was unsure what to say to my friend so I gave her the old “there’s just no time” excuse while I continued listening to her and her adventures out in the world.
By Lily10 days ago in Confessions
I’m In Love Again
I’m in love again, but he’ll never know I’m an excellent actress so he’ll never know How I dream of him, night and day
By Lily20 days ago in Poets
Inability
I want so much in my life to change. I have goals and plans like many of us do, but do not believe they will come true. This is because I don’t trust myself. I believe trust in yourself comes from showing yourself that you can follow through in even the smallest tasks you have assigned for yourself. This is something I fail at constantly. I try to set myself up for success but always seem to self-sabotage. I know that one of the reasons I do this is because I am trying to convince and show myself that I am not trustworthy even to myself. This weekend I promised myself I would go out with a friend who has been asking to see me. I never went out with her. As I laid in bed thinking of excuses to tell her, one word came to mind: inability. I feel unable to do the things I want to do. I want to do things and know how happy I could be if I simply did them, and yet I will not do them. I know I won’t do them because I never have before.
By Lily26 days ago in Confessions
When Girl Loves, When Girl Leaves
There was once a girl who wanted a boy. From the moment she met him she knew she wanted to know him and have him in her life. As the girl got to know the boy she understood what he was looking for. She decided to offer him the girl he had been looking for all his life. She somehow managed to get his attention and win his heart. The boy was over the moon, this girl he had found was everything he had wanted and more. The girl was also happy to have the boy in her life. She loved the boy and as they spent time together their bond grew more and more. The boy grew to trust the girl and he revealed things to her he had never revealed to anyone. The more the boy shared, the more he longed for the girl to share with him as well. But there was a problem. While the girl could act like the kind of girl he had told her he wanted, she could not be anymore than that.
By Lily27 days ago in Fiction
The Unknown Force
I think I’ve talked about this before in other posts but it seems particularly important to explain it in more detail now. I don’t know if it is prudent for me to think of myself as a survivor of my own self but I will explain why I feel this way. Part of it is the fact that I know how lucky I am to be able to sit here and type this piece while feeling completely different than just a few weeks ago. In those moments when I was feeling dangerously low and losing a bit of control of myself I have to say I would feel unsure of how much longer I could take. Yet somehow, even in my darkest times, I felt an unknown force inside of me that would be screaming at me from a faraway distance, I could barely hear it but I knew it was there, I could feel it. I call it the unknown force because I’m unsure what it is exactly; Is it my soul? Are they angels? Is it blind faith? My subconscious? I have no idea. I just know I am very lucky to have this unknown force inside of me.
By Lily28 days ago in Confessions
I Want You To Hate Me
I want you to hate me Everyday, all day long I want you to think I’m the worst I want you to delete me, erase me from your life
By Lily29 days ago in Poets
Parasocial Relationship Appeal
I have recently found myself in a parasocial relationship with an actor I love. I have followed and loved this actor for a while but never in my dreams imagined having somewhat of a direct access to him. It started innocently enough, he would go on live streams and I would tune in. I would sit back and watch as others typed comments and even confessed their feelings for him. As time went on and he started to stream more and more I found the courage to join in the fun and tell him how much I admired him. The rush of excitement I felt when he read my comment was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Now, I am no spring chicken and my fandom days are behind me, right? At least that is what I believed.
By Lilyabout a month ago in Confessions
Cat Food and Coffee
This past Friday after work I had to make an emergency run to my grocery store. That morning I discovered I was running dangerously low on two very important home items: Cat food and Coffee. Thankfully we had enough to start out our day but I was definitely going to have to stop at the store before I got home. After an exhausting day at work I pushed myself to go to the store. I usually avoid going to the store and will either go early on the weekend or order so that it is delivered. But I knew I couldn’t wait until the weekend for the items and ordering only 2 things for delivery would be too expensive. After work, I went into my local grocery store, grabbed my two items and headed for the self-checkout. As I stood in line I couldn’t help but notice I was only holding two small items in my arms. The items were cat food and coffee. I don’t know why but the fact that it was cat food and coffee just made me smile. My life resumed on a shopping trip, just cat food and coffee.
By Lilyabout a month ago in Writers
Am I Eternally Damned?
As I make my way out of the deep depression that took hold of me this summer, I can feel anxiety and fear slowly creeping in. While I’m glad to be feeling a lot better, I can’t help but worry about when the next time will come. I have had depression for a very long time and have learned to live with it, but I wonder if it will ever leave my life. I have learned tricks and tips, taken supplements, gone to therapy to try and figure myself out in hopes that depression never comes back. I have not been successful thus far. At certain points in my life, depression simply takes over. It’s almost as if I disappear or cease to exist, then I come back and I have to rebuild my life again.
By Lilyabout a month ago in Confessions
Top Story - August 2023
Forcing Myself To LaughTop Story - August 2023
This summer was the opposite of what I thought it would be. I thought I would have fun and be the happiest girl. I planned to go watch movies, stay up late, discover new places and so many other things. My brain seemed to have other plans for me. Pretty much on the last day of work I started to feel my mind go numb as well as my feelings. By the time I got home I fell into my bed and stayed there for the rest of my vacation. I could not find the energy to leave my bed, let alone my house. Mentally I decided to give in to my numbness and ceased to speak or feel any emotions. It was peaceful yet scary for me to find myself so cold and unfeeling. I accepted my new reality and wasted my summer away.
By Lilyabout a month ago in Motivation