Poets logo

ghost of a wallflower

#poem-some-days

By Heather HublerPublished 28 days ago 1 min read
Top Story - May 2024
Created with NightCafeStudio

~

it's hard to miss what you never had,

to hear others grieving hugs and kisses and conversations

with family who loved them unconditionally,

and realize that you only know what that looks like

not how it feels.

it's hard to miss what you've rarely experienced.

when dysfunctional has been your normal,

when oversight and ignorance are commonplace,

when you're a wallflower and there's no wall

just a lingering wisp of a ghost, a witness that

no matter how hard you try to be seen,

to be heard, to matter,

you fail.

~

it's hard to know how to give that to someone else–

all the things you're missing.

sometimes the trying gets messed up,

and it feels like digging yourself out of a hole

that you were pushed into.

how do you claw your way to the top?

finally pull yourself over the edge

and stand on two functional feet,

figure a way to get your lungs breathing again

so you can fill them with the things you were denied–

love and kindness and compassion;

those beautiful things borrowed for a moment

before you awkwardly share them with the next generation

and hope you don't fuck it all up.

maybe the answers are here in this muddied pit

where you sit and wallow.

~

yet what if you got what you wished for...could you

survive such tragedy, such unimaginable loss

when those loved ones leave this earthly plane?

the devastation. the aching pain.

are you strong enough?

because you internalize your emotions and other's too.

you feel everything and nothing all at once,

a shell of empathy wrapped around a hollow core.

perhaps it's better to not know,

to sit in shadows at the edge of the light

toes barely touched by weakened warmth,

and be thankful for

invisibility.

____________________________________________________

Thank you for trudging through this one! Holidays and upcoming birthdays and extended family health issues just got my mind a hot mess. Love to you all, ~H

Free VerseheartbreakFamily

About the Creator

Heather Hubler

Reading/writing/science/family=life

Visit

fb * X * insta

OMG creators

Mike Dharr Cathy DanaS Babs Brin

Gina Tiff Grz KJ Thavien CH Kelli

Veronica BrentonF Paul Dean Holly Lamar

Caroline Melissa JS Donna Moe

Gerald DanaC JBaz Kristen Randy

Enjoyed the story?
Support the Creator.

Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.

Subscribe For FreePledge Your Support

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

Add your insights

Comments (24)

  • Grz Colm11 days ago

    Whoa! Impressive piece, but such a sad tone. I hope your head is in less of a spin and things have picked up! 🙂

  • Shirley Belk22 days ago

    Emotional truth...very relatable. Well-expressed.

  • Bella24 days ago

    Wishing you all the best

  • Hi

  • Anna 27 days ago

    Congrats on your Top Story!🥳🥳🥳

  • Wow! Before 22 hrs when I am commenting, this was a poem but now this is a top poem. I am really really happy !!!

  • Caroline Craven27 days ago

    Oh this was so good. Heartbreakingly sad too. Wishing you all the best.

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • angela hepworth27 days ago

    Absolutely stunning work here. Your word choice and writing flow is incredible! Well deserved TS!

  • Catsidhe27 days ago

    Beautiful! Congrats on top story!

  • Margaret Brennan28 days ago

    what emotion!! it's all there, plain and simple, for all to see. BRAVO. congratulations on TS.

  • D.K. Shepard28 days ago

    Very well done, Heather! The lines "because you internalize your emotions and other's too. you feel everything and nothing all at once, a shell of empathy wrapped around a hollow core." are going to stick with me. This was honestly a hard read, due to how relatable it was.

  • Hannah Moore28 days ago

    ALL of it is hard. You just make your choices which hard to keep going with.

  • Dana Crandell28 days ago

    Whew! Sing it, Sis! Sometimes invisibility equals respite - sometimes, not. You decribed it beautifully, as always. Congratulations!

  • All of this is amazing but particularly these two lines, "perhaps it's better to not know, / to sit in shadows at the edge of the light". You describe the dysfunctionality of families and the almost angry, pained curiosity of what it would be like to grieve under different circumstances with delicate elegance. Well deserving of Top Story!

  • Paul Stewart28 days ago

    Another powerful book-worthy, performance-worthy piece from the Hubler...felt all the pain in this one but written with elegance and raw honesty. I don't have that experience...but I know Ruth does to an extent. Congrats on the deserved Top Story! Keep your chin up, like The Renee said below...nothing lasts forever...you can get through this rough patch as you have others. fin-damn-van-damn-penne.

  • Invisibility can certainly be a haven. Incredible work, Heather

  • Donna Renee28 days ago

    Beautiful. Hugs to you, and just a reminder that nothing lasts forever (including the rough times!) ❤️❤️❤️

  • "when you're a wallflower and there's no wall" "because you internalize your emotions and other's too. you feel everything and nothing all at once, a shell of empathy wrapped around a hollow core." These lines punched me so hard in the gut! They were just so relatable. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way my fear friend 🥺 Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

  • Heartbreaking. That's it!

  • Babs Iverson28 days ago

    Pure powerful melancholy and heartbreaking💕❤️❤️

  • Poppy 28 days ago

    So heartbreaking and well written!

  • Cathy holmes28 days ago

    Wow. Just wow. The writing, the expression of this is outstanding, so much so that I'm struggling to find the words to define how it makes me feel. I, just today, wrote a piece about the loss of family members, and while I do speak of missing them, I'll never say they were perfect. However, I don't think it's near the level you describe. I'm sorry to make this about me, my friend. I just think this poem utterly fantastic in its raw emotion, and I am befuddled for words.

  • Belle28 days ago

    Beautiful, Heather. The imagery and emotions are described so perfectly. I particularly love the lines "figure a way to get your lungs breathing again so you can fill them with the things you were denied– love and kindness and compassion; those beautiful things borrowed for a moment" Just stunning. To fill our lungs, our bodies, with the things that we need to survive, to breathe, and the suggestion that those things are *borrowed,* that they are needed but might not be given always, or are something that is a gift, but maybe not always something we feel we're entitled to... Absolutely lovely. Subscribing for more! ❤️

Heather HublerWritten by Heather Hubler

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.