Finding Joy in the Ordinary

if you ask me,

what grand adventures I hope for

if you ask me,

how to change the world

if you ask me,

what kind of mountains

I want to climb

what kind of life i want to live

I would say that we all have

undefinable longings

i would say the never ending normalcy

of dirty dishes and shift work

in the day to day space

that is seemingly endless

keeps me stuck in the ordinary

i would say

i don’t know how to change the world

i don’t even know how to pay last months

gas bill

i would say,

i feel it--the yearning for adventure

that sits in the bottom of your

lungs and pulls the breath

in and out

i would say

in the just-another-day space there

are seemingly endless lists of

ordinary to do’s

get the oil changed

return the library books

fix the drafty window

put air in the tires

dig up the weeds in the lawn

(but the yellow ones seem so happy)

finish the presentation for Monday’s class

don’t forget the ringing phone

and the chicken for tomorrow’s lunch--

and it just piles and piles up

so if you ask me

if you ask me

how i manage my longing for adventure

i would fumble a bit

avoid the question

(because joy is in the ordinary, but

how to make you believe me?)

so i would say

i would say that this house is

too chilly in the winter air

and that i'd really just prefer

a really strong cup of coffee

but i'll take the tea all the same

i would say that he never

really told me why he picked

up his things and left

without any words

but i wouldn't understand anyway

i would say that this line is

taking too long--do you really

need to get that five cent

discount on hot dogs?

but it wouldn't accelerate the process

i would say that people

who believe in God

are plagued by severe doubts

that never seem to settle

but i don't need to remember the doubt

i would say that the city lights

remind me of the sunset

that first night we talked about

God and love and second hand smoke

but it wouldn't be make sense

i would say that it's been

great to be here these last three

years and its only been an

experience i will always remember

but i don't think you'd listen to me

i would say that if there was

a reason for anything to

blossom it was because it

was the first time

but you already know that

i would say adventure

is the vague desires that

linger on the lashes of the sleeping

but you won’t stop asking--

where do find my adventure, where is my happiness?

so i’ll tell you the truth.

The truth is

the electric kettle’s not working

but

dancing barefoot on an icy floor

while the dog sniffs breakfast

is an ordinary sweetness

the truth is

I sit here and look at all the people coming in and out

And I wonder at the

miraculous diversity

here in this one place

teeming with hopes and dreams

griefs and losses

And maybe it's ok

maybe, it is ok

if we're not all trying

to change the world

because we're changing

the world right now

with every breath

that these lips expel

because we exist here .

the truth is

its not about changing the world

or chasing happiness

its the stop and go

lights the tug and

ebb and flow

of every day life that

continues to dazzle

it's those minutes

when you feel the pulse

of your own life pressing against

your own skin

and the way the grass whispers against your feet

that make you realize this is what is like to be alive

the truth is

there is joy

found in the quality of silence

between you and me

because life has taught me that if

there is anything left to

believe in it is the light

left behind in the last star

disappearing as the light

steals over the horizon

the truth is

there is something extraordinary

in the intermittent conversations

and the light in your eyes

the kind of possibility that holds the

answer to all the

world’s discontent

and the weight

of your smile is one I will

carry out of this moment

to the next

you and I

me and you

orbiting

closer and closer

anchored by

the fragility of this life

you've shown me

there is movement in this life

that is inexplicably grand , and

the joy is in the little things.