Feeling a Bit Down

I'm not Chester Bennington, but like he said, "I am constantly thinking of myself" 'cause my experiences are what have made me, me... bad and good yet the bad outweighs the good and good memories get fogged by my anguish and sorrow... and I look at this image I am—I stare at the mirror... and I wonder how can that be me?... Everyone I see sees something different but I look at me and I don't feel like me and it can't be hormones that changed the me I am 'cause I don't even know what I'm meant to see in myself...

And I start to question happiness yet it's in the innocent face of my baby and something wipes away the tears of my heart and I fall in love with the people who care about me all over again...

I'm not on an edge in my mind I'm just feeling a bit down... I seriously have no idea why 'cause nothing's wrong but maybe there's an answer or explanation under the surface...

Taking deep breathes and my chest feels like it's being crushed somehow...

If this is a phase why hasn't it stopped or maybe it's been going on since I was born...

My hearts strings sound like an acoustic melody but when I'm consumed in thought somehow it gets incredibly out of tune...

I don't self-harm and I ain't got an addiction but maybe those are both lies 'cause I keep to myself and listen to my thoughts for support yet I prefer taking it upon myself to remain speechless 'cause when I try reaching out I sound crazy and I stutter and sometimes the words don't come to me or something will prevent me from saying how I feel... Sometimes I say how I feel and nothing is accomplished...

Maybe that's self-harm and an addiction itself...

I'm not on an edge in my mind, I'm just feeling a bit down...