Disassociation

sitting in the dark

emptiness all consuming

lifelessness is me

-

why do i feel void

of anything sensible?

anything at all

-

numbness, an embrace

hugging me so i can’t breathe

squeezing me to death

-

snap out of the haze

i just close my eyes and breathe

waiting is the fight

-

sometimes i feel faint

with all that i cannot do

all i will not see

-

is it all my fault?

it must be my laziness

i am such a fraud

-

everything is dull

everything is black and white

everything is gray

-

to be void of thought

happiness and sadness too

i am not myself

-

struggling to see

unable to form a thought

or to read a word

-

time does pass us by

will this broken consciousness

haunt me all my life?

-

i want to succeed

dissociation, you

do not define me

-

i don’t want to fade

i don’t want to feel this way

i just want to be