Didn’t Realize

I didn’t realize it until after the reintroduction.

I didn’t realize it until after the dust settled over my weary bones and restless soul.

I didn’t realize it until it was calm after the storm again.

Until I gazed across the horizon and asked why it was so hazy out there.

That sneaky, underlying action of an emotion that lies beneath the safety of my ribcage.

The same one that’s been put to the test time and time again.

The one that keeps growing no matter how little water it gets.

I didn’t realize it until after I saw you again. Beautiful under the overcast of a winter day.

But the sweet sounds of suppression and silence fill the room.

Words are replaced by a melancholy smile. And a sigh.

While the ghost of the pain remains, and I ask myself why.

I’m following the risk down its familiar path in hopes that I find myself safe this time.