Hello friends! I’m Kar, and I’m 25 years old currently residing in Delaware. Welcome to the workings of my mind and healing of my inner child. Perhaps you can relate while I’m on my journey to self discovery✨
A Letter Not Delivered
May 5th, 2022 A letter not delivered. Dear Momther, That was the name I always called you when I was in a particularly good mood. It was also the name of your contact in my phone. You would laugh and ask me where it came from or how I came up with it, but the truth is, I didn’t know. It was just one of those silly words I’d come up with sometimes. Just a combination of “mom” and “mother. But it was always an indication that times were good when I used it. I wonder if you noticed that I had stopped using it after a while.
- Runner-Up in From Across the Room Challenge
The Forest Dog
Born into a world of uncertainty, there were only two things that I was certain of as a child: my superb ability to play pretend and my dog, Sam. I was an only child, and in addition to that, I was a nervous child. Always hiding behind my father when he’d introduce me to his friends or crying out the day I was dropped off at preschool. I mostly lived inside the worlds that I created within my mind. And I retreated even further into those worlds when my parents got divorced when I was 4 years old.
“Hazel, fill me up another one of these while you’re up, will ya?” Mom’s hand swayed back and forth as she held out her silver shot glass to me. The glassy look in her eyes let me know that all hopes of trying to have a conversation with her was gone. The night was finished, and I’ll be left alone to my own thoughts as she slowly slips out of consciousness in her favorite chair. She seemed to be placated there these days.
New Age Living
Am I supposed to deal with this for the rest of my life? At least before I had some kind of reason to feel this way. But things are going so well. So why do I feel so much sadness? Part of it has to do with the overwhelming fear that something bad will happen because things are going so well. Another part of it is because I still heavily struggle with the notion that I deserve good things to happen to me. Then there’s the constant droning of overthinking and over-analyzing every little thing. That’s the sh*t that kills me.