Dear Sister,
Oh, how I wish you were here now.
You were taken from me before I got the chance to know you. We were both so little, especially you.
Mom talks about you when we were toddlers, but I don't remember much, only us playing with those giant Lego-style blocks in the room we shared.
The morning light streamed in as I pulled you out of the crib and played.
So much has happened to me since you left, both awesome and awful. And I wish I could tell you about all of them.
I miss and mourn for what we could've had.
Certain sibling things often stir up undealt emotions, like tsunamis crashing into a city.
When a friend discusses a younger brother. When I see someone else has lost a sibling on a show or movie. When Mom talks about you.
Or when our older half-sister became another half-brother.
At first, I couldn't figure out why that made me upset. I've always supported someone being who they are.
But then it hit me.
I hadn't properly mourned you, despite only being four when everything happened and remembering nothing.
And had hung onto having at least one sister with a deeply-seeded need. Like a security blanket. For years. Without knowing it.
Then I learned I was looking for that sister connection within female friends, disappointment flooding me when it didn't happen.
Over and over again.
However, I am trying to release that dream.
You can never be replaced, and I have to let you go. To find peace within myself. Because I need it.
And I'm pretty sure you'd tell me to move forward.
Of course, I will never forget about you. I don't want to. I will always hold you in my heart.
Smile when I see an item that belongs to you. Laugh when Mom mentions your personality and quirks. And shed tears on your birthday.
I suppose it's time to say goodbye to you now. And hello to something new.
So goodbye, Sister.
I love and miss you.
And I know we will see each other again one day.
Love me
***
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About the Creator
Amethyst Champagne
I create fiction, short stories, poetry, and more!
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Comments (2)
Powerful and emotional poem, for sure. It's very important to use writing (and poetry) to express and embrace your sadness and pain. The more you do it, the better you will feel. It's not about forgetting, but about grieving in a healthy way. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I can only applaud you for being so open.
Heartbreaking!!!