Dear God,
You're probably surprised to be hearing from me
I'm a little surprised myself
That it's taken me this long to initiate a conversation with you.
~*~
Life has really been something else
And events that traumatized me as a child
Ended up pushing me as far away from you as possible.
~*~
I tried to understand and love you
The way my parents and my sisters did
But some things I was being taught with you never felt right to me
As much as I wanted to have blind faith
I couldn't with A God like that.
~*~
And so when things went bad in my life
And I prayed
With no answer back
I became angry
And used it as an excuse to push you away even further
Blaming at first
Then daring even to question your very existence.
~*~
Then I fell into the darkest hole of my life
I lost that which I loved the most
I crashed head first into heroin and it's false comforts
Seeking shelter in things that ultimately hurt me more in the end
Seeing no way out
Feeling cursed
Absence of all forms of light
My soul void and colorless.
Fighting the demons I unintentionally opened myself up to
In what felt like a losing battle.
~*~
That's when I started to see who God really was for me
In bits of kindness from a stranger
A song I needed to hear that came on at the perfect time
Seeing little signs popping up all over
That I'm going to be ok.
Being reminded that I am not alone
When I needed it the very most.
Angels showing up in different forms
Blessings I really didn't deserve
But the universe provided anyways.
~*~
You are not of hate
You are the purest of loves
You are hope
You are peace
Second
Third
Fourth
And fifth chances.
~*~
Because you have taught me to never give up
That I am love too
And I am worth the fight.
~*~
About the Creator
Tressa Rose
On a serious self-discovering, soul-searching journey. Breaking myself out of a stagnant shell and reaching out for my dream of being a writer. Small steps but this is my start! Please help me by commenting your feedback, I'd be grateful!
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Comments (5)
Beautifully done, really loved this
This was so positive and powerful! Loved your poem!
Rose your story is a beacon of light for others who are struggling with their own faith. It shows that it's okay to question, to doubt, and to be angry. And it also shows that even in the midst of darkness, there is always a way back to the light. Thank you for sharing your story. It is a gift to us all.
Hi-T ~ Ah, your versatility amazes me ~ a far cry from your bathroom reading...Hmm! As an aside re; 'Fight' I can't imagine why 'Religion' and how one believes in 'God' should cause all of this unrest. 'j'
Beautifully written Tressa!