dark door

I went through it once

to welcome you to my world

you were tough, inaccessible

with thick armour on your back;

when I look at my couch now

where you were sitting

and talked, and talked, and talked

your WORDS

pierced like bullets

through my ears and heart;

somehow

your face is still there

locked in my thick lenses

reflecting a blurred view from the start

which later became clear

after a series of close encounters

in person or by telephone

in homes and on the streets

next to or near the truck

when you smoked a cigarette and I despised it

however, I have learned to love it

since you did;

now I have to feed on the stories of others

each time from a different state of mind

like a NY girl on the run

after her man

where are you now?

looking at your flaws and mine

we should get along fine

yet somehow

you have become a silent radio

without music, no words fly under the roof

my living room

is empty like an after-season dune

all I have now

is this dark door

behind which I left your soul –

soaring softly seaboard sight

without any bearing, beautiful boy

-

for M.

-

(2022 – 2023)