Conversations with Christ

Going along loving in my unhealed heart.

Leaning on broken promises that weren’t real from the start.

Searching for myself in confidence like I’m lost at Noah’s ark.

Crying out to god asking can he repair a broken heart.

Down in despair she lives in the pain she leaves when he leaves like tree leaves only for a season she believes.

She keeps wondering is her love the reason he breathe’s but every breath taking is like air full of disease.

I’m sick in agony, yelling at the rooftop praying that all this should be gone, feel like the mistress at the well only hoping I was stoned.

Jesus said let he without sin but yet I’m still stuck between the irony of thy steel, I cannot fake what I feel.

Going alone loving with my unhealed heart. It’s not healthy no it’s not right I know it sits left but the Rhythm of my heart only knows my fight.

Am I burned in my strife I take so much in love like I’m cursed to not fight. I’m just hurting love but I still lay down my life.

Asking god for explanations, holding on to the broken promises like they ended in exclamations.

Going up and down like my heart is riding on an escalator. Just another passage of my heart espionage’s as I’m fiddling through these pages my mind keeps shaking tears keep flowing and my heart keeps changing.

Like a cold winter breeze I ask God to make me cold but he says there’s no reason “have you studied in Proverbs, and did you listen to what Roman was sent to tell you,

have Peter got through to you for your healing. I know John is just a phone call away and Matthew lives nearby in a home I must say.

He’s right next to Luke just look don’t rebuke. I promise you’ll see the end just follow my truth.

Been dying since youth waiting for God because there’s no way in life I made you number 2.

Listen in the mornings because weeping only endures as long as you let it.

Let faith lead your heart but never forget why you wear it.

I know your heart has been through many transgressions, I don’t transfer from flesh, I transfer in spirit and if you need a portion of my heart then here I am come get it.

I say God but you just don’t understand why you did put me on this earth, why must I love man? He say for reasons I’ll teach only in due time I have to break down but promise me you’ll keep trying. I say but my mama broke me, daddy left me, I’ve given love a try but I’m just left with some kids I feel like I’m neglecting.

I just need some direction. I pray to you these words can you hear the dissections.

I can’t walk in a church and devour thy sections because I know if David slayed Goliath,

I can slay him too, but my heart is so broken that’s why it keeps running back to you. I’m just running after you, come hold my hand Jesus don’t keep me stumbling after you.

In that moment I realized that my heart is not mine to visualize only a heart that he will fantasize on why he mistreated the wife of his youth.

It’s not the time to pursue. If it’s time to endure don’t blank out the lines of your truth. Have job taught you that your friends become your enemies and your life is breaking energy of the enemy only to what I allow.

I look up to you God I just want to make you proud. He says if psalms doesn’t teach you I’m close to the broken hearted go follow the Hebrews, you know the parable I gifted to your heart.

And revelations only live if you know what Daniel really did. I say but my heart is broken and I’m crying like a little kid, he says that’s exactly what humble is.

I fight I fret what are you supposed to do with this?

He says I’m the creator of all things just stay true to who you are.

Go on loving and I promise to heal your heart, and if you ever need a pick me up you know I’m not that far.