Conversations With a Granddaughter

When our granddaughter gets to our house with her mother, I tell them that her grandpa may be sleeping. We all tiptoe into the living room where he went back to sleep earlier. As we approach the living room we can hear, softly, his head is covered up.

"Brynn is a monkey. Grandpa is smart and Brynn is a fart!"

I think, oh boy, he is on a roll already this morning as we are all laughing. Nice belly laugh first thing in the morning as she goes over and jumps on him. Hollering, "Grandpa!!"

First Subject:

Grandma, with wrinkles around your mouth, it can look scary

Are we talking about me now? (I am feeling wary)

You and Grandpa. (Grandpa jumps up and says like this!")

You are never scary Grandpa.

So, it is about me your Grandma.

Okay Grandma, but you are nice and not scary. I'm just saying that wrinkles can make you look scary when you are not smiling.

I guess I will just have to smile all of the time then to not look scary. (I wanted to tell her I could look scary even at her age, before wrinkles. I will save that story for another time.)

Next subject:

What are you doing for your birthday?

Going to O'Brien Park. The place we went to for the graduation the other day.

I want to invite a few friends.

Okay, and you can do that, right?

I don't know cause my mom has my tablet

What happened?

Not doing chores and... never mind.

Okay, so when will you get it back?

Probably never.

That bad huh?

Yes!

I say fix it before your birthday. Do your chores. Fix the other thing. No fighting with your brother. Be nice to your mom.

Okay, maybe.

Next subject:

I need some help rhyming. Sit here by me and help me to rhyme.

Okay, I can this time.

My topic is a pleonasm.

What is that?

It is a word for the day. We will read it when I am done. What rhymes with bull?

dull, cull, wool

Dull will fit. How about rain?

Sain, slain, bain, drain, gain

Yup, gain works. Now, let's be done. Okay, Hon.

Yes. Now read it to me.

Pleonasm, noun, the use of more words than are necessary...

That is enough Grandma.

Okay, yes, it is more of an adult poem, thank you for helping me finish it.

Last subject for the day:

We are riding into town this afternoon and I need my bike wiped down, will you do it for five bucks?

Five bucks?

Is that enough? I mostly want it gone over. No wheels, chrome, or leather. Just wipe it down and get the bird poop off of my mirror.

Bird poop for five bucks? Do you mean five dollars?

Yes. I mean five dollars. There could be a tip.

~

Before you go for a ride on the 4-wheeler, put on your helmet, and glasses.

Do I have to? (She looks at Grandpa - Grandpa says "We are just taking a short trip around the property!")

Yes. You have to get in the habit. So, you never forget when you leave the property. (I say to her and Grandpa.) Like Paxton did just last weekend.

(She grumbles around in language I don't hear or understand and hope she is not swearing at me. And she comes back wearing her helmet and glasses.)

When they return, she says, "Grandpa was swarmed with mosquitoes and my helmet helped me not to get swarmed."

I said, Thank you, Grandma. She smiled and laughed.