Comparing

Comparing

The thing that bothered you most that I did,

You are now the subject of it.

They tell me to go get back out there,

Go on a date,

That it will be great

And even if it isn't, it's a good first step to take.

And even when I do,

The whole time all I can think about is you,

I talk to him, and he seems nice,

Look at him and all I see are your eyes.

Having conversations like I once did with you,

He had different answers and different values.

I wanted the conversation to be easy and flow,

While we sit here with this great view by the patio,

But there was a pause in the conversation current,

Where silence was uncomforting

And it made everything apparent.

I fell for you and now I have a standard,

What a connection-based conversation is like,

And thus, I have my answer.

No matter how good of a person he was,

He was never going to be the person I want,

Because,

He wasn't you,

And when I met you, it was all true,

Easy as can be,

Where I saw you in my life immediately.

I feel like I'm wearing a disguise,

While I'm trying to go on dates with other guys.

Because I am not over you

And who you were through and through.

And how can I be,

The person that I use to see,

Was everything I thought I wanted to be with,

But maybe that was a myth.

Maybe you weren't,

But that's also why it hurts.

Because I believed,

You were,

And now that its achieved

I have an idea of what it's supposed to be.

I can't move on to someone new,

because I’m comparing them to the way I fell for you.