childish games

i remember it being on a thursday

because i knew they had wanted

shame to find me on a friday,

at least that is how i remember it.

silence has a way of reaching out and letting me down

their eyes tell, something is coming

something worse than the let down

loneliness.

i cried as she watched through the window

they told me they could do without me

or my friendship

the world had left me for dead

all my friends turned

biting me,

sending me to the bottom

until i found my way,

carrying myself on my own shoulders.

i’m tired of this game;

snakes and ladders

poet's notes ~ stream of consciousness behind the poem

i don't remember much about this day other than in elementary school my closest friends told me they didn't want to be my friend anymore. crazy how times like these stay with you forever. i'm no longer angry but it's something i'll never forget. the worst part was that the following day it felt like i had been exiled, i was back at square one. all eyes were on me. i think that's why i'm always searching...what was wrong with me? will i ever find out?