Caught in-between

I hid part of me away

Waiting for some day

When I could finally understand why I didn't fit in

I walk on the beach

Hear seagulls screech

I quell the anxiety rising sharply within

***

Months later I cry

Wave confusion goodbye

Diagnosed with severe, combined-type ADHD

I feel euphoric and glad

Then grieving and sad

My history then actively plagues me

***

I'm not like most others

Not really even my brothers

But I must play the part to get on

Yet there is no place

I've yet to find space

To be my chaotic ADHD self - full on

***

That day was so sunny

Sweet as Autumn honey

On the sand under open blue skies

Wind cooling my hot head

A nice pebble to counter my dread

The calm North Sea the colour of my eyes

***

It's Spring, I'm a mess

I have nothing to confess

This recent diagnosis helps me heal and grow

I give myself grace

To learn anew, apace

Medication gives me clarity and woe

***

Not the sky, nor the sea

Nor the freshly leafed tree

I can venture out of hiding in daydream

I join up, I subscribe

Find my ADHD tribe

Glad, weary heart, I'm at last happy inbetween