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Call of the Ocean

A Crown Cinquain

By Dharrsheena Raja SegarranPublished about a year ago Updated 12 days ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2023
103
Photo by ben o'bro on Unsplash

The wind

It was blowing

She closed her eyes and felt

How nice it is to feel something

Unseen

~~~~~

Unseen

Therefore unheard

But the sea had many

Secrets and mysteries untold

Curious

~~~~~

Curious

She squinted hard

It seemed to her the waves

Were beckoning her to follow

Should she?

~~~~~

Should she

Follow her heart

And jump into the sea

Or listen to the warning bells

Ringing

~~~~~

Ringing

In both her ears

Swimming underwater

Kept going deeper till she found

Answers

~~~~~

A Crown Cinquain is a sequence of five cinquain stanzas functioning to construct a larger poem. The syllabic count for each stanza is 2-4-6-8-2.

The last line of the previous cinquain stanza is repeated as the first line of the next cinquain stanza.

The final line of the last cinquain stanza does not have to equal the first line of the first cinquain stanza, but it is an option.

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About the Creator

Dharrsheena Raja Segarran

My mental health decline brought about a lot of darkness and I embraced it. It now flows out mostly as Dark Stories and Poetry.

❤️ Erythrophile ❤️
✨️Glitteringly Savage✨️
🖤 Elegantly Disturbed Mind 🖤

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Comments (72)

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  • Joe O’Connor20 days ago

    This poem has such a rhythmic flow to it, which matches perfectly considering there is so much ocean imagery. “It seemed to her the waves Were beckoning her to follow”. I like the idea of her immersed in watching the water. Nice!

  • Wow! Best!

  • Justine Crowley4 months ago

    Lovely. I was relaxed reading this. Congratulations on Top Story <3 <3

  • Denise E Lindquist5 months ago

    Nice! 😊💕Congratulations on Top Story🎉🎉🎉

  • Darkos5 months ago

    💜💜💜💜❤️🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡I think no words can describe so I just let the silent speak ! Congratulations ! one of the most beautiful One and painful one I read ! Big Hug Much Love !

  • Laura Lann6 months ago

    What a fun form! And a tragic poem

  • Rob Angeli7 months ago

    That is a really lovely poem, and I am definitely going to have to try out that form, too. Excellent!

  • Dean F. Hardy7 months ago

    Really interested in the form structure of this poem. To a point I'm going to play with it. Thanks Dharrsheena, lovely poem.

  • Veronica Coldiron7 months ago

    I hate that I missed this one! (Especially as much as I love your writing!) This is masterfully written and I LOVE the rhythm of it. Reading it, you can almost feel the movement of the ocean. LOVE this poem!!

  • Dana Crandell7 months ago

    I have no idea how I missed this brilliant piece, but thanks to Naomi, it found me today. I'm so glad it did. Beautifully written as always, and thank you for introducing me to another intriguing form.

  • Naomi Gold8 months ago

    I love the way you experiment with different poetic forms, and share what you’re doing in your author’s note. I want to attempt this type of poem now. What I loved most about this was my personal interpretation of it. I’m not sure if this was what you had in mind, but I felt like it was a metaphor for consciousness. The ocean is so vast and unknowable, like the depths of the human mind. It can be terrifying to explore, but some of us are lured by that siren song that promises a little more awareness.

  • Rachel Deeming9 months ago

    Very evocative but simply so which I think is a trait of great poetry. Loved it!

  • Lana V Lynx9 months ago

    This is beautiful and transporting.

  • Heather N King9 months ago

    You’re such a talented poet! So beautifully written!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)10 months ago

    This was beautiful D, I love the formatting and rhythm of the poem. It felt very whimsical, put me in the mood for summer and beach weather. 😊💕

  • L.C. Schäfer10 months ago

    This is really beautiful 😁

  • John M Edwards Jr10 months ago

    Interesting thoughts in this poem.

  • Roy Stevens12 months ago

    Now that is beautiful! You're digging deeper here Dharrsheena and coming up with material that feels more vulnerable but also more distilled and affecting. This poem is truly lovely, one of the better pieces I've seen at Vocal!

  • Erwin Smith12 months ago

    Very beautiful poem🍃

  • Denise Larkinabout a year ago

    Creatively crafted poem with lots of visual that gives the feel of the sea.

  • Deborah Robinsonabout a year ago

    Stunning imagery.

  • suman mohanabout a year ago

    Superb! I like the sequences of stanzas.

  • Rick Henry Christopher about a year ago

    Very interesting and thought provoking. Work well done.

  • Novel Allenabout a year ago

    Very informative and enjoyable.

  • Stephanie J. Bradberryabout a year ago

    Love it. It captures the soothing yet beckoning nature of the ocean.

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