c o n t r o l

flailing in the river

struggling in the fight

i’ve forgotten how to float

now i’m fighting for my life

the rapids pull me under

i can't remember how to swim

my feet won’t touch the bedrock

as the currents suck me in

i’ve fought this very river

so many times before

but my vision is muddied once again

i can’t make out the shore

surrender shouts my name

yet I refuse the raft

my fists are clenched and letting go

feels just outside my grasp

so i drown in my control

you’d think i’d learn with time

but once again i sink into the depths

losing to the tide

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I need to remember to tap in to this piece I wrote last year: