by the bar

We were the thing of champions; shiny collectibles that gathered dust in the corner while other lovers walked out the front door. I'm guilty too. I jumped ship before the wind could lift sail. "Better off without me." I was a pistol waiting to be left in the wrong hands. I let my anger get the best of me. Cloud me up like a hotbox with the incense burnin' and a little nostalgia. But, living like I do, I wore my heart of my sleeve like high fashion. It was winter all the time- without the Christmas. I could never quite get the timing right. People keep handing me gifts, not knowing my hands been clumsy. I always felt the need to warn 'em. They give anyway. I don't suppose it's my heart. She isn't always well, trusting without the decency of shame. Speaking before I've had the chance to think. She doesn't know what she wants. Or maybe, I've been resistant. Still, I only know that she wants more, and these days she's never content. She gets a lot of people upset- emotional mother-lover.

They left us to fend for ourselves. Food was on the table, but I didn't know a freedom in my own skin under the many roofs we played "house". When there was nobody left, there was still me. Maybe I don't give myself enough credit for that. People say it's strength; I call it all the times I deserved a Grammy. Acting courageous. And now forgiveness taste like bitterness and hurt like a bad toothache. My tongue carries a wrath with it. And still I could find a piece of home in you, another world in my hands; I let him get away. I thought I would be better without it. I had to connects the distant orbits within myself.

Every time I picked up the microphone. Every time I closed my eyes, I couldn't help, but pen something about love and all the times I went to the lost and found about it. I sipped hope and illusions; I added honey to my Jack and cranberry juice to add some color. And we sat. Waiting for love to come back home. Mixing strong potions and slurring melodies on the tracks. Sleeping long and deep. I never stopped showing up. But the detours made me better I'm sure. Love was always on the way. I meant well, out getting you the world.