Broken Songbird
The Saddest Song (And I Conducted It)
There was once a time when I lived with You
Listened to You
With You
To Your songs, I heard
You sang
And sang often
To me You were like
A Songbird
When we grew up
From babbling
To using words
I got to hear You string them along
To make songs with those words
Yet, I hurt You
Yes, I hurt You, You Songbird
*
Your singing filled with glee
Sometimes annoyed Me
So Annoyingly
That I wanted Silence to reign supreme
Or to filled with ambient sound
To surround
And Coax my ears with such a lovely Sound
To be Found
Would be something else
But Your voice
Yet, I hurt You
And I hurt You
As part of my own choice
*
Why Canary?
Why Canary?
Why do You sing?
Sometimes Your voice was lovely
Other times, like glass, in my ears it would ring
*
Why Canary?
Why Canary?
How did I hurt You?
Why Canary?
Why Canary?
Why am I so blue?
*
We were Younger then.
So Young that memories could barely form then.
So Young, That I hurt myself when I hurt You, and cried now that I'm older
So Young, that of the entire chipped block, I was just the shoulder
*
Canary,
Oh Canary, Myself do I blame
For there was a time when You sang
That I didn't want to hear Your voice
And how it sweetly rang
At that time my annoyance
Burnt like fire in my veins
But now that memory
Floods up my brain
And brings me to tears
Knowing I caused You pain.
*
CANARY!
Don't You see I'm the same!
A hypocrite who hurt You!
Cause at times I too had sang!
*
Canary
When I asked You
and Asked You
To allow me to listen
To the other words
Unadulterated
Like a river's water untainted, fresh from a mountain spring pool as it would glisten
In the light of day
As the sunlight would play
And Bounce off the fluid,
But of the ambient sound
With the noise that I wanted to hear I grew envious
*
I asked
And You wouldn't give
I asked
And again You continued to sing Your sweet melody
Yet, I didn't wish for Your voice
To become apart of the symphony
So I when I demanded, and You continued
I took it upon Me
And did what I should not have done
If the older me could protect You then,
I'd grab myself
And tell You to "Run."
*
I used my brute strength
I used my power
I overpowered
I showered
My rage
My tenacity
My Wrath of a Warpath
Onto You
And That Song that You Sang
Wasn't like the one before
What I had done to harm You
I used my dominance
Leaving scars that are Sore
There was nothing You could of done then to even the Score
*
After I did what I've done
I sat down with joy and glee,
Believing for whatever reason that I've won
It was a battle
Was it a battle?
I had wants
Yet, when I tried to communicate
I felt like they fell on deaf ears
Now, what I became to You back then (and even now)
An oppressive force that You must fear?
*
I felt happy.
I felt happy to have what I wanted
Yet, why did I resort to
Violence?
When all I wanted from You was a little
Compliance.
*
I had wants
And when You continued
I felt like I wasn't be listened to
Going Unheard
Cause You kept wanting to do Your thing
Canary
To Continue being a songbird
To continue to sing and to sing
Yet, the sounds that I made You make that day
Torture me these days and they still ring
*
You told me You forgive me
And thanked me for My apology
Yet, what gave me the right
To act SO Appallingly?!
*
What I wanted
At the Time
Felt so easy to give
Yet, It was also so Easy
To not harm You
And to continue down our path in life together
For the years that we lived
*
My actions aren't justified
Even the best manipulator in the world
Couldn't construct a good enough lie.
*
You love belugas, the canaries of the sea.
You, like birds, more than just any canary, love to sing.
Yet, I harmed You with my own hands
As I look at my palms I see that at the joints of my fingers I have rings
With those I harmed You
The Pain I left You at the time it hurt, and so it radiated
It Ringed
I made You cry.
You sniffled and stifled them,
Yet, in my ears, this very day
THEY RING
Because on that one day, You are that one canary
That I did not let
Sing
*
Even though we're miles apart,
You still love me to this very day
You've grown and spread Your wings
Much like me
You've left the nest
And You've grown brave
Yet, all those years
All those Years
You lived with me
Did You live in fear?
Cause of the discrepancy in power
You were trapped
WITH A
MONSTER
IN
THE
CAGE.
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Comments (10)
I related to your story. The words are so descriptive and the feelings that come off the page to a reality of the dark night of the soul .
There's darkness and light in everyone. Powerfully written. It takes courage and creativity to write like this.
Thavien, emotionally and beautifully written!!! Bravo!!!💕❤️❤️
Sounds like you were a child at the time. As long the canary has forgiven you, I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. Sounds like your actions may have hurt you just a much. This coming from someone who grew up with two older brothers. It wasn't all sunshine and roses. You're a good guy, T.
Powerful stuff here Thavien!! Incredibly heartbreaking and moving. This had such a strong voice and tone as it built up, strong images and even stronger emotions. 🖤
Such a powerful, heartbreaking piece. The metaphor is very thought provoking. Canaries also sing as a warning of encroaching danger.
Sadly wonderful , excellent words
Please tell me it wasn't actually a canary 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Please tell me it was a person that you were referring to 😭😭😭😭
So, is this a true apology? A reflection on a past event? I don't think it's a canary but a person, probably a family member, a sister? I'm guessing. You're expressing your remorse for something cruel you did to them when they were just being themselves. If it is personal, was it cathartic to write about it?
This is so impactful, Thavien. Especially in the end, when you point out that the songbird was just existing as it was created to be, singing the tune it knew by heart. Some backstory to the species: songbirds do have songs unique to each gender. Males start the songs to find their mates, and females, if interested, finish the song. It's beautiful, and this makes me think of that. The Canary sang to find the one to complete its song, and the loneliness echoed your own, impelling you to silence it... that's just what I'm interpreting. Or I could be so far off 😅