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Broken Songbird

The Saddest Song (And I Conducted It)

By Thavien YliasterPublished 4 months ago 4 min read
Broken Songbird
Photo by Kaikara Dharma on Unsplash

There was once a time when I lived with You

Listened to You

With You

To Your songs, I heard

You sang

And sang often

To me You were like

A Songbird

When we grew up

From babbling

To using words

I got to hear You string them along

To make songs with those words

Yet, I hurt You

Yes, I hurt You, You Songbird

*

Your singing filled with glee

Sometimes annoyed Me

So Annoyingly

That I wanted Silence to reign supreme

Or to filled with ambient sound

To surround

And Coax my ears with such a lovely Sound

To be Found

Would be something else

But Your voice

Yet, I hurt You

And I hurt You

As part of my own choice

*

Why Canary?

Why Canary?

Why do You sing?

Sometimes Your voice was lovely

Other times, like glass, in my ears it would ring

*

Why Canary?

Why Canary?

How did I hurt You?

Why Canary?

Why Canary?

Why am I so blue?

*

We were Younger then.

So Young that memories could barely form then.

So Young, That I hurt myself when I hurt You, and cried now that I'm older

So Young, that of the entire chipped block, I was just the shoulder

*

Canary,

Oh Canary, Myself do I blame

For there was a time when You sang

That I didn't want to hear Your voice

And how it sweetly rang

At that time my annoyance

Burnt like fire in my veins

But now that memory

Floods up my brain

And brings me to tears

Knowing I caused You pain.

*

CANARY!

Don't You see I'm the same!

A hypocrite who hurt You!

Cause at times I too had sang!

*

Canary

When I asked You

and Asked You

To allow me to listen

To the other words

Unadulterated

Like a river's water untainted, fresh from a mountain spring pool as it would glisten

In the light of day

As the sunlight would play

And Bounce off the fluid,

But of the ambient sound

With the noise that I wanted to hear I grew envious

*

I asked

And You wouldn't give

I asked

And again You continued to sing Your sweet melody

Yet, I didn't wish for Your voice

To become apart of the symphony

So I when I demanded, and You continued

I took it upon Me

And did what I should not have done

If the older me could protect You then,

I'd grab myself

And tell You to "Run."

*

I used my brute strength

I used my power

I overpowered

I showered

My rage

My tenacity

My Wrath of a Warpath

Onto You

And That Song that You Sang

Wasn't like the one before

What I had done to harm You

I used my dominance

Leaving scars that are Sore

There was nothing You could of done then to even the Score

*

After I did what I've done

I sat down with joy and glee,

Believing for whatever reason that I've won

It was a battle

Was it a battle?

I had wants

Yet, when I tried to communicate

I felt like they fell on deaf ears

Now, what I became to You back then (and even now)

An oppressive force that You must fear?

*

I felt happy.

I felt happy to have what I wanted

Yet, why did I resort to

Violence?

When all I wanted from You was a little

Compliance.

*

I had wants

And when You continued

I felt like I wasn't be listened to

Going Unheard

Cause You kept wanting to do Your thing

Canary

To Continue being a songbird

To continue to sing and to sing

Yet, the sounds that I made You make that day

Torture me these days and they still ring

*

You told me You forgive me

And thanked me for My apology

Yet, what gave me the right

To act SO Appallingly?!

*

What I wanted

At the Time

Felt so easy to give

Yet, It was also so Easy

To not harm You

And to continue down our path in life together

For the years that we lived

*

My actions aren't justified

Even the best manipulator in the world

Couldn't construct a good enough lie.

*

You love belugas, the canaries of the sea.

You, like birds, more than just any canary, love to sing.

Yet, I harmed You with my own hands

As I look at my palms I see that at the joints of my fingers I have rings

With those I harmed You

The Pain I left You at the time it hurt, and so it radiated

It Ringed

I made You cry.

You sniffled and stifled them,

Yet, in my ears, this very day

THEY RING

Because on that one day, You are that one canary

That I did not let

Sing

*

Even though we're miles apart,

You still love me to this very day

You've grown and spread Your wings

Much like me

You've left the nest

And You've grown brave

Yet, all those years

All those Years

You lived with me

Did You live in fear?

Cause of the discrepancy in power

You were trapped

WITH A

MONSTER

IN

THE

CAGE.

By Deleece Cook on Unsplash

surreal poetryStream of Consciousnesssad poetryheartbreakElegy

About the Creator

Thavien Yliaster

Thank You for stopping by. Please, make yourself comfortable. I'm a novice poet, fiction writer, and dream journalist.

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

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Comments (10)

  • Vicki Lawana Trusselli 4 months ago

    I related to your story. The words are so descriptive and the feelings that come off the page to a reality of the dark night of the soul .

  • PK Colleran 4 months ago

    There's darkness and light in everyone. Powerfully written. It takes courage and creativity to write like this.

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Thavien, emotionally and beautifully written!!! Bravo!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    Sounds like you were a child at the time. As long the canary has forgiven you, I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. Sounds like your actions may have hurt you just a much. This coming from someone who grew up with two older brothers. It wasn't all sunshine and roses. You're a good guy, T.

  • Hayley Matto4 months ago

    Powerful stuff here Thavien!! Incredibly heartbreaking and moving. This had such a strong voice and tone as it built up, strong images and even stronger emotions. 🖤

  • Test4 months ago

    Such a powerful, heartbreaking piece. The metaphor is very thought provoking. Canaries also sing as a warning of encroaching danger.

  • Sadly wonderful , excellent words

  • Please tell me it wasn't actually a canary 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Please tell me it was a person that you were referring to 😭😭😭😭

  • Rachel Deeming4 months ago

    So, is this a true apology? A reflection on a past event? I don't think it's a canary but a person, probably a family member, a sister? I'm guessing. You're expressing your remorse for something cruel you did to them when they were just being themselves. If it is personal, was it cathartic to write about it?

  • Brin J.4 months ago

    This is so impactful, Thavien. Especially in the end, when you point out that the songbird was just existing as it was created to be, singing the tune it knew by heart. Some backstory to the species: songbirds do have songs unique to each gender. Males start the songs to find their mates, and females, if interested, finish the song. It's beautiful, and this makes me think of that. The Canary sang to find the one to complete its song, and the loneliness echoed your own, impelling you to silence it... that's just what I'm interpreting. Or I could be so far off 😅

Thavien YliasterWritten by Thavien Yliaster

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