Blue: Live

These are the poems for the lost glass soul I surrendered my persuasion to.

Blue wasn't chosen for the color of your eyes

nor was it due to your mood

it was the color of my bedroom where I would beg you

beg you to stay alive

beg you to smile

beg you to not be mad at me for talking to another man

but my skills aren't quite developed enough to win you over just yet

It's been over two years and yet I still want you alive

most people wouldn't give a damn but, my insides tell me something else

they tell me you matter

you were the 1st and although you damn sure ain't on a pedestal

my willingness hasn't given up on you

my kindness hasn't run out

the care I hold isn't a sand hourglass, these grains aren't limited

as each one drops my curiosity grows to know one thing

what made you so cruel

Toxic events don't weigh you down

in fact, you yourself do

this facade no one is being fooled by is making me sad

naturally you are charming, don't pretend

This isn't a romantic gesture, I just care

you know my heart was occupied by you at one point

but, that golden opportunity has rusted and will never be offered again

If you tap on that fragile glass you can hear those echos of sorrow

fragile is your first name replacing the Scottish originated one

consumed with pain while life's elbow is nudging the arm you hide your eyes with

Your imaginary isolated chest is what bothers me the most

you can keep your fake rap interests and conforming fashion

I'm aware of those Halloween decorations you call "dust"

those repetitive "I don't give a fuck's"

I'm just an ex who wants you alive

put those ropes and razors away

pick up a broom and sweep away those pity parties

that wide smile and loud humor can pucker up any spirit

including yours

I'll always be here.