blotted out

you were diligent with your papers

despite describing dyslexia

I didn’t notice it

just the face of a professional who has lost his track

in a life specked with too many spills

left school too early, never got back

so now you have to play catch-up

life on the road with papers under your arm

penned, zipped, lived through, delivered

I thought this was your best side

like a teacher who used to sit

but he was never aware of that

intelligent form of his work

which I am looking at now

impressed

that you have changed

at that very moment

you changed

light years away from you own self

and only one question remains

will you let me take you there

where the most knowledge lies

where no one can enter and destroy it

where the true core of life lives

away from this earthly garment

because you can’t judge a book by its cover

every wise man knows it

stunned by people like you

not so educated, but seeing through

this invisible shell of life

from the marine species you’ve learned to despise

since childhood

abandoned by your own sailor dad

I wish you were my brother in some way

to share your worries and smiles

the latter was exceptionally shown to me on the first day

of meeting you, yet unrecognised by my heart

oh, I wish I was wiser with you from the start

I could have had more than I had left –

just blank pages to fill out

with my thoughts dripping like blood

from the fountain pen I always had

by my side

I advised you anyway

keeping a road log for me

I’d like you to believe me

that my intentions were sincere

shame you never thought I was in your arms

despite words sweet as honey

oh, I wish you’d take me everywhere with you

that much I miss you weeping alone in every corner

-

for M.

-

(2022 – 2023)

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