Blood Pressure and the Good Old Hockey Game

My brothers thought that it was dutiful

To introduce me to the beautiful,

Wild, exciting, good old hockey game.

At first, I wasn’t interested,

Thought my time was much better spent

On barbie dolls and hopscotch in the lane.

*

But as time went on, I grew to like

Those knife-footed ruffians on the ice,

It wasn’t long before they had me hooked.

Now fifty years on and I’m still here

Waiting for the Stanley Cup to appear.

Start the parade! I already got it booked.

*

I relax on the couch to watch the game.

I’m cheering loudly. I have no shame.

There are friends around, and drinks and snacks at hand.

With two periods done, we have a big lead,

But I want more goals. Don’t blame the greed.

It’s just that things don’t always go as planned.

*

The third period starts out in a frenzy.

The opponent’s scoring goals a plenty

The closer they get, the more I’m losing my mind.

They scored again! My hearts deflating

I think it needs defibrillating.

The enemy’s only one more goal behind.

*

My blood pressure’s rising through the roof,

I’m sweating like a pig that’s over-stuffed.

How will I make it through this cursed game?

The swear jar is getting quite a work-out,

A new clink with every vulgar shout-out.

I’m pretty sure I’m going quite insane.

*

Our best player jumps on, over the boards.

Victory is most certainly assured.

He’s on a breakaway, the fans scream and yell.

The goalie spears him in the nuts,

Before he gets to shoot the puck,

And now we got a benches’ clearing brawl.

*

He’s been awarded a penalty shot.

I hold my breath, and pray to hockey gods,

That it ends up in the back of the opponent’s net.

I scream out loud when the puck goes in,

I'm feeling sure my team will win.

I jump so high, on the cabinet I hit my head.

*

With the clinching goal now on the board,

Our victory is all but assured.

Just run out the last few seconds, and it’s done.

My bp’s back in normal range,

No longer do I sound deranged.

The game is over and yes, my favourite team won!