I'd Like to Report a Murder
Blame Abigail
The call comes in at midnight, on this starry moonlit night.
“I’d like to report a murder,” she cries. It gives me quite a fright.
Such heinous crimes don’t happen, in our sleepy peaceful town.
But this lady sounds so frantic, and I can’t calm her down.
*
She screams in wild hysterics about the victim on the rug,
And the killer hiding under the tree, looking oh so smug.
I think my ears are deceiving me, or I’m having a crazy dream.
Did this caller just inform me that the perp is under a tree?
*
“Yes. She’s ‘neath my Christmas tree. Please send somebody, quick.
Her eyes are filled with rage and terror. She must have found the ‘nip.”
The caller’s sobs get louder. She’s afraid that she’ll be next.
“Please save me from the horrifying slayer. She’s looking truly vexed.”
*
I hear the sirens blaring. The cops break through her door.
“Put your hands up,” the orders barked, “and get down on the floor.”
“Oh no, not me dear officers,” the woman starts to wail.
“I swear I’m not the vicious killer. It was surely Abigail.”
*
The police don’t see a victim, just a tiny blue-tailed mouse
“But it’s me she’s going to murder,” yells the caller. “Remove her from my house.
“She’s hiding in the bedroom now. She took off like a zoom.”
The caller begs the officers to retrieve her from the room.
*
The officers go crashing, right through the bedroom door
Shouting “Get your hands up and lay down on the flo….HAHAHAHAHA”
I’m hearing waves of laughter,
My officers busting a gut.
The pic of the perp confirms my suspicion
This woman is f*cking nuts!
About the Creator
Cathy holmes
Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Comments (17)
😂😂😂 Abigail for the win!!
LOL Abigail strikes again!! 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for the laugh, I so love Abigail the cat. I can this a book compilation on Abigail, what a Queen.
So great! Gave me a laugh!
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OMGOSH! This is awesome! Love this one ❤
lol! Abigail is to cute to go to jail! ❤️ Well done!
This is amazing and made me laugh!! Wonderful job!!
Hilarious and perfect! I hope this wins!!!
That’s hilarious, I love it
Fun read. Loving it!!!💕💖
You got me with 'little girl' in your aquarium story but not this time, lol! Also, the cover pic and the mention of Abigail was a giveaway 🤣
Hahaha I love this so much Cathy. It’s got to be a winner!!!
Fun. Excellent Cathy. 🥰
That was great fun and no doubt another Top Story
I’m laughing, 😂😂 very cool
I didn't know how it was going to end... The cat kinda caught me off guard.
Bahahaha. Great rhythmic flow and fantastic story