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Yeah, Me Neither

Blame It on The Full Moon

By Cathy holmesPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 1 min read
Top Story - December 2022
56
Photo by Kym MacKinnon/Unsplash

Have you ever had a dream that you were sitting on the toilet, then were jolted awake with the warm, horrible realization that you weren’t?

Yeah, me neither.

Blame it on the full moon.

Have you ever had a dream that you were being dipped in a vat of liquid slime, only to wake and realize your dog was licking your feet?

Yeah, me neither.

Blame it on the full moon.

Have you ever had a dream you were having a heart attack; the unbearable pressure bearing down on you, making breathing near impossible, then awoke to discover your twenty-pound cat sleeping on your chest?

Yeah, me neither.

Blame it on the full moon.

Have you ever had a dream that you won the lottery, only to be awoken by the buzzing sound of your alarm clock barking at you to get up for work?

Yeah, me neither.

Blame it on the poverty.

Have you ever had a dream you were sleeping on a glacier, then awoke to a blinding white light and soul crushing headache that even the cool porcelain bowl you were cuddled with couldn’t cure?

Yeah, me neither.

Blame it on the booze.

Have you ever had a dream that you were a prolific author raking in millions, then awoke to find you’ve written a poem that is perhaps the silliest thing in the history of silly things?

Yeah, me too.

Blame it on the Vocal prompt.

performance poetry
56

About the Creator

Cathy holmes

Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  4. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  5. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

Add your insights

Comments (32)

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  • Mariann Carrollabout a year ago

    Your stories crack me up 😂

  • Sharon Betheaabout a year ago

    Laughter is like medicine. Love the humor!

  • Ward Norcuttabout a year ago

    working your structure and progression through it was a cool idea!

  • Veronica Coldironabout a year ago

    I am glad I didn't miss this one! It was great to laugh out loud at work today. LOL 🤣

  • Ben Shepherdabout a year ago

    What a great way to start my day! Thank you

  • Morgana Millerabout a year ago

    hahahaha this is amazing, thank you for your humor and always putting a smile on my face

  • Emily Marie Concannonabout a year ago

    Omg this was so funny Cathy 😂 I really enjoyed thank you for creating this ☺️

  • Colleen Millsteed about a year ago

    Hahaha love this. It’s hilarious my friend.

  • Cleve Taylor about a year ago

    Very readable and entertaining

  • Jollyoddbod Poetryabout a year ago

    Loved this poem Cathy! Thank you for sharing, I look forward to reading more from you.

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  • Awesome 👍 so relatable 🥹😏❄️❤️❗❗❗

  • Heather Hublerabout a year ago

    Fantastic!! Funny and maybe true...or maybe the full moon!! LOL Congrats on the well deserved Top Story!

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  • C. H. Richardabout a year ago

    Lol Excellent! Hilarious!

  • J. R. Loweabout a year ago

    Hahah another classic, extremely relatable Cathy Holmes piece. Thanks for the fun poem

  • Lea Springerabout a year ago

    Ha, ha--the last one's so true! It's always a "challenge" for both me & you. (sorry--it just popped out.LOL) !

  • Carol Townendabout a year ago

    I woke up in the bathroom asleep on the floor once. I wasn't drunk, so I'll blame it on the full moon! Great work!

  • Aphoticabout a year ago

    This made me smile. Clever and humorous😊

  • Stéphane Dreyfusabout a year ago

    Great fun!

  • JBazabout a year ago

    Well done Cathy once again...brilliant, love this.

  • Gina C.about a year ago

    Love it Cathy!! Congrats on top story!!

  • Oneg In The Arcticabout a year ago

    Haha this was great

  • This comment has been deleted

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