Poets logo

Bittersweet Words of Love

An Outro Towards Codependency

By Mary McMichaelPublished 5 years ago 5 min read
Like

How can you sit there

Sit there saying you love me

You love me only when my skin is bare

Why can't you see

When I make you stop and stare

You're not looking at a mermaid

No, you're just the same

What you see is every single vulnerability

When I don't physically please you

You act as though I'm to blame

I lied when I said I was okay with intimacy

When the exact reason I called

Was just the opposite

You say you love me

I say, hypocrite,

I remember the statement you said last night

How you couldn't be without the feeling

The feeling of our skin touching

Do you even know how much I tremble as I write

I wish you could see what I see in you

When we are just happy in a relationship

Instead of always laying in bed as one

Laying in bed as two

I remember last night you said it wouldn't work

It wouldn't work if at least you had to abstain

I don't understand you men

I remember when I talked with you

You said it made you mad

Why don't you understand

You're the one that makes me sad

I wish I could have told you if that was your thought

Then we would be through

What was so important to refrain

Annoyed and angry is the picture it drew

Don't you understand there are some things

Things that cause pain

I bet you only thought I was a song

It's as if the words

The words of my story touched your lips

And became your own

What's so special about my hips

Did you know the single thought

The single thought after a lengthy shower

The voice coming back telling me I'm not good enough

That I'm worthless and only men can define me

When you dream

Do you dream a future of us

Or do you turn to dust

And I'm the one to scream

I bet you never wondered the things I think about

Even when you're asleep

I wish you knew how it feels when you cuddle

When you cuddle up behind me

To you am I merely bone

Are you the keeper of my flesh

Do you know why I've never flown

Or strayed away from crowded places

Because I too am human

I too have fears

It seems as sometimes those fears

Those fears become my insecurities

Do you even know the tears

Do you know the definition of love

You say you love the God above

Or was that your sweet talk

Your sweet talk that comes out

Comes out when you've had one too many beers

I love you and all the little things you do

I just wish you were understanding

Understanding as to why I don't want our relationship

Our relationship to be defined by our skin

It's like a double-edged sword your handing

To do a deed in which constitutes sin

Though by your side

By your side I still find myself standing

Why would you act if I'm just a ride

When I have more to offer than being your yin

To your yang

It's as if my story

Was a song to be sang

When actually my story

Tells about how the lights were strung

Not how the guts were gory

How the flowers you brought

Were in a gold vase

The gold vase of glory

How our children would grow old

When we're grey and frail

How will our story be told

When the life ship sets sail

This isn't a fairy tale

This is my story

The story in which relationships go stale

And where flowers die

And lightbulbs burn out

I remember all the times I said I was sorry

I find it odd to compare relationships

With a bag of potato chips

When everything falls apart

And you're on rocky lands

Where it rips open your heart

With cold and soulless hands

I'm the one that heard that oh so familiar sigh

The one that wants to stay for all the right reasons

But knows the need isn't there

I was the one that sighed

Because men who think about skin don't care

Even in a rough season

It was my turn to say goodbye

Confession 1: This Used To Be Me

I wrote this one night while I was in an intense argument with my boyfriend. We ended up assuming things that weren't true because of the fact our communication was lacking. When we got a chance to get a breather, we then worked out what we now know was a huge misunderstanding.

You might ask, well if you guys are still in a relationship, then why does the ending of the poem say otherwise? Let me explain....

Confession 2: I Write For A Purpose

Writing makes myself and my soul feel free. It's a way to let out all of my feelings without having to identify with or express them until necessary. Within poetry, you all may have heard the term metaphor or simile. This is what the ending stanza is, it's purely a metaphor. It shows that I gained my independence and control throughout the relationship. For example, I don't feel obligated to call him back right away if I've missed his call; you might ask why? Well here's the reason, I'm an independent woman who lives and thrives throughout my own being; as he's a man who's independent and also lives and thrives throughout his being.

How might this relate to codependency? It's a matter of being who you are and what makes up those categories. Just as we have the right to have boundaries with others, we also have the right to place boundaries on those relationships in our lives. Sometimes even we ourselves need boundaries/limits. In the same light it gives respect to letting those we love as well as care about not only live their own lives but also gaining an understanding as to what independence looks like. (Independence doesn't always look the same to the next guy).

Confession 3: Change The View, Challenge The Thought, Heal Yourself, And Confidently Love Yourself

Healing is possible, whether this means to change the whole sight from micro to macro or if there are ways you're coping to deal with these situations. Give yourself time to learn, grow, thrive, survive, flourish, nurture, and heal those wounds.

It's definitely okay to tell yourself I need this moment to be alone, it's okay to feel lonely and single, it's okay to not know the unknown, and it's quite okay to be as vulnerable as I am right now. Despite the thoughts I may be thinking right now and the feelings I may be feeling right now. Because I know I'm alive, my heart's beating, my lungs are filling with oxygen, and the blood is pumping through my veins; I will not let this effect me, I will not let this defeat me.

love poems
Like

About the Creator

Mary McMichael

Hello, I'm Mary McMichael and I'm the founder of Survivors For Justice. I am in the process of writing my own book, getting my bachelor's in digital media, have a mind for creativity, and a big heart for people.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.