Poets logo

BEING ME.

My heart is still

By Catherine NyomendaPublished 10 months ago 1 min read
1

I sometimes wish I could fall asleep as quickly as I jerk up awake. At a moment’s notice. At the snap of a finger. At the press of a button.

I want to be able to mute all the voices roaring inside my head, I want to be able to believe that no demons are waiting for me in my dreams, or under the bed.

I want to be able to think of tomorrow only when the dawn breaks and I want to be able to allow the past to stay where it is.

I don’t want the darkness to flood me with thoughts of how better today could have been, I don’t want it to fill me with plans and promises of a future that may or may not be seen.

When the clock strikes 12 and I hit the sack, I want silence to engulf me, I want it to overwhelm my mind with peace. I want the night to sing me to sleep, I want it to eat away at my grief, and I want it to eat away at the fears that don’t want to leave.

I want the night to become my canopy, shielding me from everything that refuses to let me breathe.

I don’t want to spend my waking moments thinking of the one NO I hear in the morning. Or wondering what I could have done better to have kept it going.

I don’t want to tell myself that there’s only so much I can do no matter how hard I try or how a coin will have only two faces even if I hang it out to dry.

I want to compartmentalize the hundred-thousand questions in my brain into rooms, each completely unaware of the noise in the other, each unapologetically indifferent to the other’s fear.

I want the adrenaline to stay at least 30 rock steps away from dopamine. I want my insecurities to stop hijacking my dreams.

Heck, I want to build glass castles and breathe life into them, no matter how unreal they might seem.

sad poetry
1

About the Creator

Catherine Nyomenda

I love writing. I love the swirl of words as they tangle with human emotions. I am a flexible writer and can write almost anything, do you need any help creating content? Well then, get in touch...

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.