Before you

“Before you

I was begging, pleading

to be loved”,

I thought I was better off alone,

Work. Work. Work. Till the day

I died alone. I know.. I know.

I begged for help.

I pleaded for attention.

I wanted to be loved the way

that I loved

“Clawing, pounding

at a door

That I thought would never open.

Because of you

I have comfort, safety”

I was comfortable with

The feeling of being uncomfortable.

I was used to the feeling

of being unsafe. That abuse was

waiting, around the corner.

waiting, to strike me down again.

Because I felt inspired by you,

I wanted to change myself.

To alter the flaws I found

in my own being.

I wanted to shed the layers of fear

built on top of me,

Because of that inspiration,

I fell in love with you.

I walked passed you,

hundreds of times before

While I begged to be loved,

To be seen,

To have comfort,

To feel safe.

You showed me,

We could do that together,

I just have to put in the work.

Although,

I think,

Because of me,

You closed the door.