Baggy Skin

I don’t know how to be me.

My new skin is baggy. It doesn’t fit me. I want to jump out of it and go back to my old skin. I want to go back to the old me.

I have crawled out of the rabbit hole. But now at the top the light is too bright. The space is too open. I had grown strangely fond of the dark and confined space. Can I slip back in without anyone noticing? Can I survive living in the shadows?

My confidence has gone. I don’t how to be…me. I use to laugh. I use to know what to say. Now I bumble. I stumble.

I have been judged and I have been hurt. By those that I called close. I now protect.

I am tired of thinking. I am tired of trying to fit in. How do you make it look easy? How do you glide through life? I watch people evolve. I watch people achieve. But I trip over my own skin.

I know who I use to be. I know what I use to like doing. But that is gone. It is now all different. How do I live in my new ordinary?