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All I fear
Is fear
Itself
Of self
My self
-induced
-destruction
-sabotage
-flagellation
-harm.
Old bad habits
People
We repeat them with
The ones we replace
Replicate
To remind us who we've been
Who we've lost,
or tried to.
Ones we let get in the way
Familiarity is to complacency as apathy is to atrophy
is to entropy which is
≥ codependency which =
fear of coming home,
going out,
picking up;
what happens if we don't.
Broken telephone
Promises
Dishes
Bones
Cycles
Fear of falling towers
& triple edged swords.
Fear of change
Fear of the unknown
Fear of sleep;
of waking
Alone
At all
Or worse,
next to someone else
As someone else
You don't scare me.
Me, my own worst nightmare
Me, who deserves better.
I know you are,
but what am I?
We
Bounce back and stick together
to figure it out
In separate rooms
About the Creator
J
I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil
Katana
You didn't care what happens to me. I stopped caring what happens to you. Transparency was never your strongest attribute nor was your hospitality. Because of you, I spoke melancholy fluently. I was the ocean trying so desperately to wave at you but you were the moon and you wouldn't look downward. I was in the spillways while you were in the clouds. Subterranean tunnels and hot air balloons. Gutterballs and solar flares. You were the gravity in the entire universe while I was dwelling in the mantle of the planet you developed amnesia about. I wasn't authorized to speak up and use my voice. You were the override that rescinded each and every choice. The vagueness didn't add to any absent conversation. Your deliberate attempts at lying were made straight to my face. I didn't believe in gullibility until the veil was lifted. I didn't know my loyalty and dedication were not reciprocated until the very end. Your words couldn't realign with any thoughtless action. Your absent mindfulness sliced through my peripheral vision like a katana. I was always prepared for self-sabotage but this all came from you. Every scenario played out in my mind except for this one. Any sword would have done less damage than what your intentions unloaded. My plans have more velocity and more fury than any blade from any bygone era. This is not my punishment nor my fault. This was the result of incompetence and incompatibility but I kept trying despite the obvious. What a Sisyphean endeavor but I chose to keep failing. You never had access to my heart because it was never yours to begin with. I knew inevitably this would run its course but I hoped it would end at my own choosing. You didn't take the truth with you when you left. The universe didn't throw a wrench into my blueprints. It threw a dagger into my coveted and prolonged suffering. What a weapon to use against my chainmail and unexpected resurrection. I have created my own katana, dripping with ferocious rage and the ability to conquer. Forged with ambition and a sense of renewed purpose. I am my own master and I will slay those who say otherwise. I don't have anymore to give you, not even a goodbye
By Anna Torresabout 2 hours ago in Poets
Comments (2)
Not me thinking flagellation meant moving using a flagella, lol. I'm so glad I Googled it just to be sure. So I learnt a new word today. Your poem was so poignant and intense. I loved it!
This is such a powerful piece! The use of lists truly helped me feel a sort of anxious spiral of thoughts and made this poem hit hard for me. Thank you for sharing!