At Least I'm Trying

A lot of music has gone through my brain this year

folklore on repeat

I try to unwind and spit out words

the way Swift does on CD.

"This is me trying" she cries out

as the tears run down my face.

The agony of my brain pushing down my good feelings

the pulsating pain of lingering thoughts

The empty emotions kicking

at my very roots.

Digging up old fears

the silence and the dread

of feeling like I'm never enough

or if I'm better off dead.

I know that's not the answer

believe me, I'd never try

I would rather just sit here

listen to music and cry.