I feel you. I´ve been there. You are in pain. It hurts everything that exists. And everything it doesn't. Even the air that you breathe comes into your lungs in chunks of oxygen, choking you at every inhalation. The shadows are darker and they invoke a continuing absence of quiet in your mind. The panic takes control produced by those memories and thoughts that keep popping up like uninvited guests to the party.
You are not ok. And it´s ok not to be ok. You are trying every day to get you to the next day. And that deserves an outstanding ovation. A new sunrise in your future. A step closer to your healing. I see you and I know You see me too now. Because this poem is for all of you who are struggling to see the dawn of happiness one day. Send you love and strength 💖Thank you for your time and support🙏
I try a thousand times more.
Tired and numb in my core
Even if I fail again.
In the fight of both sides
The inside and the outside
World of loss that wins it all
In times of peace, ready for war.
I still hope once again.
Full of doubts I sing from pain
A thousand times.
I made a choice to stay
Despite my want to run away
I smile once more at my bay
Even though I feel like crying.
I speak the truth once more.
Even though I feel like lying.
I sing once more.
Even though I fell silent.
I care once more.
Despite I feel like a tyrant.
I aim once more.
Even though I feel it’s in vain.
In beauty, I believe once again
Despite the sanity of the insane
I want to fly once more.
But with too many wings my light burned
I´m trying to get up once again
Even though I´m held in a chain
I walk on the side of my life
Even though I died a long time
I fight for healing my soul.
Even though I´m in constant war
Even though I’m outnumbered by flaws.
I have faith in myself once again.
Despite the neverending rain
I know I’ve run a thousand times.
In all directions, thousand miles
Now I´m here when the bell rings
Despite all the bad things
And always alone
Until my last pair of wings
Is flying me home.
This was initially published on Medium.