Am I Guilty?
Can't I love from a distance?
Why
make me feel bad
for trying to protect
my small red heart?
Why
make me
feel guilty
for recoiling
when scratched
and laughed at.
I'm -
that type of person:
My soft voice often goes unheard
yet even when heard
it's not taken seriously
Can't
be bothered
to talk to others.
Yet
I still try
to get by
in a world of noise
and extroverts
The
quiet silence,
a sweet lullaby
morning meditation.
To detox my airheaded brain
of thoughts
and shame
from failed social interactions
Limited time and resources
to pursue dreams
and creativity
I want
to have friends
but being friendly
is ... exhausting
I'm unsocialized,
impersonal.
I don't get excited easily
I want
to survive in this world
but you need friends to get by.
You need popularity.
= People to love you.
You.
Need.
People.
To.
Love.
You.
Why
do I feel guilty
for trying to protect myself?
Subjecting myself to the same discomfort
Why?
Aren't I depressed enough?
Can't I distance myself?
Yet at the same time.
I know that's
what love is.
Tolerance.
Accepting people as they are.
I
know you are that way.
I want to keep my distance from him.
Because I know he will hurt me.
So
why
make me feel guilty?
Because I want to keep my distance?
Because I find his personality unappealing?
Disappoint me once.
Disappoint me twice.
If it happens a third time... doesn't that make me a fool?
And possibly, just possibly.
I might come to hate you.
...Again.
About the Creator
Bianca Wilson
Author of Dream of the Cabbage Spirit on Amazon. Webnovel writer, simmer, poet and daydreamer.
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