Almond milk, the amazing taste of Life
In response to one unloyal fan, Mr Paul Stewart. Who is trying to drive my sales into the ground.
If you haven’t read Paul’s poem about almond milk (The inspiration for this) find it here.
If you want to read his rebuttal to my roasting of Spam (the canned meat, not the stalkers) which also inspired this you can read that here.
🎼 Almond milk, just as smooth as silk.
Who cares about the millions of dollaz I bilk!
🎼 I’m luscious, delicious and can be quite vicious.
Paul, have you forgot that I’m even nutritious?
🎼 but what do you care, I don’t need yo money,
I’ve already got you in my back pocket honey!
🎼 What cha gonna do when the cows are all gone?
Come runnin back to me, right where you belong.
🎼 Ask any barista and they’ll tell you the same.
I am very versatile and even got game!
🎼hmm, let me see, what’s next on my roster.
I’m gonna go down as the world’s best imposter.
🎼So go ahead Paul and keep spreading yo lies
You won’t be laughing when you eat almond fries.
🎼I gotta get going, even though I just got poppin
People need me in their coffee. And yes Paul, very often.
*****************************************
🎼Yeah! Almond milk does a body good! 🥛
***
And if any of you ladies want to get with me than hollah at yo boy- MC Al Mon Dee. Also available in almond d lite.
***
This is in response to Paul’s amazing poem about his hateful hatred of Almond milk. He won’t even touch the carton. So please don’t ask him to. I had no choice but to set the record straight since he’s trying to turn spam haters into lovers. Thank you!
About the Creator
Lamar Wiggins
Creative writer in the Northeast US who loves the paranormal, mystery, true crime, horror, humor, fantasy and poetry. Take a chance, you'll be thoroughly entertained.
"Life is Love Experienced" -LW
LDubs
Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.
Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Keep reading
More stories from Lamar Wiggins and writers in Poets and other communities.
Letter to our Queer & Trans Youth
Hey, you. I thought I’d start this letter by telling you a little about myself, just so you know who you’re dealing with. I’m an emotional dad, father to three amazing kids who we met through the foster care system, and whose presence in our lives has really transformed my sense of responsibility to the communities that surround us. The connections we’ve made with one another, with our extended families, and with the communities where we live and look for belonging have catapulted us into this whirlwind of emotional tumult which, while not easy by any stretch of the measure, has also been remarkably healing. I realize ours is really only a one-sided chosen family, since our kids didn’t get to choose to live here, but I’d like to think that they did choose to let us love them, which allowed them to grow to love us. And I think that’s where I want to go with this letter- to a place where you can find belonging and healing- even if the pathway there may be peppered with some emotional tumult.
By F Cade Swanson5 days ago in Pride
Comments (16)
🤣🤣🤣 I love the personality you gave almond milk here!
LMAO! Even though I hate almond milk, I loved every word of this. “And if any of you ladies want to get with me than hollah at yo boy- MC Al Mon Dee” OoOo… that is smooth as silk 😆
Go head AMilky Milk! LOL 😂
This was soooo cool! 😎 And hilarious! I loved the rhyme!
This was fantastic, Lamar--a response in kind. (And I do love almond milk, unsweetened, vanilla.)
Definitely love your rapping on about almond milk!!! At 30 calories, it is amazing! Anything else is blazing!!! Fantastic poem!!!♥️♥️💕
Excellent Lamar... If I wasn't already a fan of almond milk this poem would have done the trick...
Hilarious rebuttal! Almond d lite 🤣
LOL! I see you showing off your comedy and rhyming skills. Looking good. 😂💜😂
I love Paul's work and his piece was truly written so well but I'm on team almond milk for sure 🤣 I recently developed a diary intolerance and almond milk has been a saving grace lol. Hilarious and loving the friendly banter among everyone lately 🤗
😂 I’m loving this.
Omg hilarious rebuttal! 🤣🤣🤣
Lol, this is so fun! Personally, I enjoy almond milk but prefer soy :) Great job!
Well...I'm dead! This was one helluva slay! Well done, Lamar! Thank you, thank you!
This is a brilliant rebuttal. Well done, Lamar! When the cows all go home, we will indeed be left with almond milk. :)
Excellent job on this, Lamar😉💜💯🎉