‘After it’

Sweat

Pouring down

On my split fa ce

I almost forgot the why, the reason for toiling in hot sand

Rusty nails splitting fingers, tainted blood

Biting sun resting, gnawing on tense shoulders

The weight of the world is a growing boulder

time doesn’t exist but I still grow older

bruising on my right thigh feels so right, so good

at least the man is still alive and thinking

don’t forget you’re not alone, there are wandering eyes

Expecting spirits expecting much too much

For me anyways, just how much do I matter?

A spec of dust or a trove of memories?

A fleeting maniac or a cherished friend?

Suicidal idolization of the void beyond

It’s where the happiness lies and the truth doesn’t hurt

It’s where I won’t get hurt, so trivial it doesn’t matter

But I remember it now

The why

The peeling of burned shoulders

Bones crushing under more boulders

Solemnly slipping in scorching sand

Bruises turn purple and tender

I find solace growing older with you

You’re why