I
Am
Not.
I feel colorless
sometimes.
I am not
a magical thing, or
a work of art for you to gawk at,
I won't mask up, I won't color up my gray---
no, my achromatic feelings for you
they are here, they are
drained already,
and when I finally can do something (that makes me feel
fulfilled)
to show a little
bit of something
like a different little hue,
then I might be
inclined to show you the side of me
I only show to my mirror
the achromatic
light
and dark
shadows I drown in
and also live in.
Achromatic; living without color
does not mean you have no
brilliance
but it does suggest
a life lived listlessly
but mine isn't---it is lived
passionately
through my colorless days
and my dream filled ones,
a labyrinth
of memories and nightmares,
fresh pains and old tears,
I am not
just those things
But I am everything,
something without shadow and sound and
without fear---
I am not
i am
not
a piece of work
or art
for you to gawk at
I am pages in different books
black&white too,
with tiny illustrations of moths
and canaries
and sunflowers
But I am not
for you
to gawk at
achromatic
or colorful.
About the Creator
Melissa Ingoldsby
I am a published author on Patheos,
I am Bexley by Resurgence Novels
The Half Paper Moon on Golden Storyline Books for Kindle.
My novella The Job and Atonement will be published this year by JMS Books
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