A Trade Agreement

See,

you are ~clearly~ out of my league.

Everyone knows it,

even my parents.

In fact, it’s painfully obvious.

I don’t necessarily mean in the sense

of aesthetic beauty.

No, in that case, we’re both gorgeous.

I mean that your very essence is so incredibly beyond desirable

that anyone who bottled it would be an overnight millionaire.

Your mind works so logically

while mine is a whirlwind of chaotic thoughts.

An amalgamation of episodes, rather than a single, coherent slideshow presentation.

When you speak, people fight to listen,

And I fight simply to be heard.

You know the rules for the world and use them to your advantage,

And I walk in blindly, and expect the universe to bend to my will.

Sometimes, it does, sometimes it doesn’t.

So here I am, just a person

Begging the universe to bend to my will

and grant me a wish.

I want you to be mine.

Before you answer, let me sweeten the deal.

You are a logical person.

I think this can be presented in a logical way,

And I think both parties can benefit,

so for the sake of a good trade agreement,

bear with me.

I offer you- my dear-

All of my love until I die.

Not until you die.

Until I die.

A very strong distinction that needs made.

(Although, I will die first doing something stupid, I believe it’s the sentiment that counts).

I offer you- my dear-

the biggest half of everything we split.

Every cookie, every bed, every utility bill.

Trust me, it’s a good deal,

provided you don’t think too hard about it.

I offer you- my dear-

A soft beginning,

a happy life,

an adventure every day,

and two headstones side by side-

AFTER I die doing something stupid,

of course.

I offer you- my dear-

Cheezits bought in bulk,

endless popcorn and costco muffins,

and enough dog hair to drown in-

provided we find a place for my art supplies.

I offer you- my dear-

Every word,

and every thought,

and every way in which I can possible demonstrate my love,

until- frankly- you grow sick of me.

But I do not offer you, my dear, a way out.

Please plan accordingly

In short,

I don’t have much to offer,

but what I have is heavy, and durable,

And I love exactly like that-

I will love YOU exactly like that-

heavy and durable.

You are a logical person.

I think you know a good deal when you see one.