Poets logo

A Healthy Relationship

by Lily Winter 13 days ago in sad poetry
Report Story

After trauma and depression

A Healthy Relationship
Photo by Külli Kittus on Unsplash

For one of the first times in my life,

I’m healthy.

They’re healthy.

The two of us are healthy together.

And yet I go to sleep wondering if I’m just killing time until they leave.

And wake up wondering why a healthy relationship,

could leave me feeling so vulnerable

I have no frame of reference for “okay.”

And “healthy” is based off of past experiences,

and years of therapy,

But in practice,

each moment could feel like a war zone

And I can still be safe.

It’s ridiculous

How does one decide whether the problem

is inside of their relationship

Or inside of their head?

Do I feel unsafe because of what they did?

How they reacted?

How I expect them to react, due to past lovers?

Or does comfortable feel unsafe because I’m out of control of the situation?

Is it a good sign that I want to talk to them a lot?

That I want to tell them about my day?

And hear about theirs?

And tell them about every dog I pass by,

And show them every sunset?

Or is it a bad sign that I am so attached?

I watch them pick up my words,

examine them carefully,

and acknowledge what was said-

for the meaning, not the individual vocabulary-

and watch them try to understand me through it.

I see them try every day to love someone

Who is beyond broken,

But beautiful still,

and I know that loving me is hard.

But when loving them is so easy,

Why does it still put me on high alert?

sad poetry

About the author

Lily Winter

Hello! I am an eighteen year old university student, and avid writer. To learn more about me, check out my instagram-

Personal: @lily_winter4722

Business: @lily_winter_author

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.