A Testament of Time Gone By

The day you left I could still so vividly hear your voice bouncing around my head

The thought of you continues to be an echoed shout that never ends

I want to scream some days, let loose, let the bad times in,

I want to give up sometimes and let those bad times win

But these days I must remember to pat my own back

And remind myself that what you did, while it may have been unintentional,

What you did changed the world

And as I try not to let the guilt consume my soul

I remember that you too had goals,

And you too had demons that wore down your soul

And that golden light that you shine for me, the one displaying the truest parts of your beauty

Lives on, stronger, brighter, and more apparent than ever

Because the pain that you carried for 22 years, please know

I carried it too

The trauma you faced,

The addictions you dealt with,

The guilt you felt,

The loneliness,

The fear,

And the wonder,

I felt it too

I saw it too

And I knew it just as well

This is why we were always so close,

Brother and sister,

Best friends til the end

Well I am here as living, breathing proof,

That what was once started must commence till its own end

And your friendship and strength

Must double in space

And I must allow that in

So in an effort to honor you,

Remember your goals,

And to make them come true,

I must choose not let those demons win

I was always too afraid of what would happen anyways,

If I’d followed our parents examples, and let the poison help them swim

Who knows if I’d ever have the strength to beat the demons again

And I know you worried this too,

But for you, there wasn’t enough time to choose

By the time the drugs stole your human consciousness

Your soul was already shedding its demons off

And lighting up the world from a higher dimension

And as the pain taps against my gut,

Rhythmically I hear that echoed voice again

I hear your name, and beg for your face

In this humanistic place

Just one more day

So I can show you, that the universe took the bad away

And it made you whole again

And those demons, even if you cannot see it

They did not win