Why you should learn to embrace your loneliness for a better life!

I have been an introvert for the most part of my life. I had only a few close friends and my social life was pretty much nil. I didn’t often hang out with my friends on weekends, nor have attended parties or sleepovers like a normal high schooler.Now I’ve always been criticized by family and peers for having a small social circle, and even I felt like there’s something missing at one point in my life. A lot of people have asked me how I stay cheerful, goal-oriented, and not depressed despite not having a robust social life, and I just tell them that’s the way things work out for me. Well, while that might be somewhat true for some, there are 3 main benefits I’ve come across for being a bit isolated over living your life as a social butterfly:

1. You save tons of time and money!

I am sort of a “jack of all trades” person, and that means most of my time is spent on working, selling used stuff online, painting, learning investing, and reading random self-help books. The major reason why I’m able to stay so productive and on top of my game is that I don’t have to spend my free time with friends. I’ll credit the incredible work-life balance I enjoy these days, to solitude! Most of my friends stay far and in different provinces/countries, and most we ever contact each other is once every 3 months, or something like that.

I have only been to a handful of parties in my life, and rarely went to the movies or out shopping with besties and I must say, it helped me save a lot of money, and to start my investing journey. Now you extroverts might get defensive and tell me things like: “Money is not important, one must value their friendships/relationships...”, and blah blah. It might be true in certain aspects, but I value my monetary gains way more than spending away my savings on buying birthday gifts and concert tickets to keep my acquaintances happy.

I’d always bet on money and not two-faced people to save my ass in times of trouble. Hate me for it, but it’s how the world works 90% of the time…

2. You don’t feel the need to keep up with the Joneses!

With a large social circle comes the need to be on the top, to meet the expectations of your crowd. This can cost you your time, money, energy, family, and long-term goals. You might get lost in competing with your friends on driving that fancy car, owning the luxurious home, and going on vacations to those exotic places… People often feel unhappy when there’s a direct or indirect need to keep up with their peers, whereas their unsociable counterparts don’t really get engulfed by the desire to live up to someone else’s expectations and instead focus on oneself. This leads to a more relaxed existence as the result of less pressure and helps plan out your life according to your rules and ideals, which helps eliminate any unhealthy competition and stay mentally sane.

3. You let your creativity flow…

Having no popular friends to flaunt meant I had more time to spare for my hobbies and to learn stuff despite working full-time. While my coworkers went out clubbing on Friday nights, I’d spend my time reading personal development books, coding, painting, learning about the stock market, and surfing online on ways to make passive income. And these habits, which once started out as hobbies, is now helping me pay my bills. I have a lot of time to myself that I can plan out my retirement, dedicate some hours on online platforms to market my products and services, and deliver groceries as a part-time gig.

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By no means I’m saying to live in your cocoon by being self-centered, cold, and miserly bitches. You should keep a few close friends, whom you can really trust, based on your experience. But do so, in a way that it doesn’t affect your privacy or work. Remember, your work comes first, because that’s what is going to help you survive in this unforgiving, competitive world. Your life should fit into your mould, and your social circle must be positioned inside the boundaries you set.

All those years of being left alone to figure life out by myself, has shaped me into the self-reliant, strong, ambitious, and calculating individual I am today. Now I look at all my popular old friends’ Instagrams and don’t feel any remorse. I absolutely love the new me, the gift of my solitude! As the saying goes:

“Privacy is power… What people don’t know, they can’t ruin!”